FUNNY STUFF......

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Scroll down to how to I.D. a meth lab

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Dumb but got a big Chuckle with the Ladies

Penguins

 

 

 

 

I never knew this.

 

Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in

 Antarctica - where do they go ?

 

Wonder no more!!!

 

It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which

 lives an extremely ordered and complex life.

 

The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as

 well as maintaining a form of compassionate contact with its offspring

 throughout its life.

 

If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the

 family and social circle have been known to dig holes in  the ice,

 using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough

 for the dead bird to be rolled into and buried.

The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and

 sing:

 

"Freeze a jolly good fellow"

 

"Freeze a jolly good fellow."

 

"Then they kick him in the ice hole."

 

You really didn't believe that I know anything about penguins, did you!

 

watch it the second time and it will crack you up..

http://www.break.com/index/tv-host-blows-turkey-caller-1961601

OMG tears are streaming down my face. Doe's anyone have her phone #

The special and sexy talent of Amy G

Wow!

Bill Cosby Drugs

A little girls prayer:

Dear God,

This year, please send clothes for all those poor ladies in Daddy's computer...

Amen

Would You Marry Again? - Priceless

A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the Wife looks over
at him and asks the question....

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do.."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry? "

HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look)

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)

WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"

HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house.."

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"

HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?"

HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."

WIFE: "Would you take her golfing with you?

HUSBAND: "Yes, those are always good times."

WIFE: "Would she use my clubs?

HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."

WIFE: -- silence --

HUSBAND: "SHIT."

HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."

WIFE: -- silence --

HUSBAND: "SHIT."

The fact that I've heard this before didn't stop me from letting out the loudest cackle I've ever made.  Hilarious!

The Sierra Club and the U.S.   Forest Service were presenting an alternative
to the Wyoming ranchers for  controlling the coyote population.  It seems
that after years of the  ranchers using the tried and true method of
shooting
or trapping the  predators, the Sierra Club had a "more humane" solution to
this  issue.

What they were proposing was for the animals to be captured  alive. The
males would then be castrated and let loose again.

This was  ACTUALLY proposed by the Sierra Club and by the U.S. Forest
Service.   There was a 'pregnant pause' after the presentation as all of the
ranchers  thought about this amazing idea.

Finally an old fellow in the back of  the conference room stood up, tipped
his hat back and said; "Son, I don't  think you understand our problem here
. . these coyotes ain't fuckin' our  sheep . . . they're eatin' 'em!"

The meeting never really got back to  order . . .

This is one of my all time favorte's the whole show was a crack up !!! Enjoy !!!

A new invention for women

Dr. Calvin Rickson, a scientist from Texas A&M University has invented a bra that keeps women's breasts from jiggling, bouncing up and down, and prevents the nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in.

At a news conference, after announcing the invention, a large group of men promptly took Dr. Rickson outside and kicked the living shit out of him.