FUNNY STUFF......

ANNOUNCEMENT: Apple announced today that it has developed a breast
implant that can store and play music.


The iTit will cost from $499 to $699, depending on cup and speaker size. 


This is considered a major social breakthrough,
because women are always complaining about men staring at their
breasts and not listening to them.

http://www.howmanyfiveyearoldscouldyoutakeinafight.com/

34

http://www.howmanyfiveyearoldscouldyoutakeinafight.com/

34

19 for me.  I lack in the martial arts department    and something about morals brought me down.

22
I do have a problem picking up kids and throwing them... 

LOL, 34 too!

I guess it comes down to what I learned in the Marine Corps. The best way not to get your butt kicked is not to fight at all, but if you're in a situation where you have to fight, fight to win no matter what the cost.

As my combat hitting skills instructor told us "Fighting dirty is what people who just got their a$$ kicked whine about!" 

Three women: one engaged, one married, and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decide to amaze their men....that night all three will wear a leather bodice S&M style, stilettos and mask over their eyes...After a few days they meet again.....

The engaged girlfriend said: "The other night, when my boyfriend came back home, he found me in the leather bodice, 4" stilettos and mask. He said, "You are the woman of my life, I love you...then we made love all night long."

The mistress stated: "Oh Yes! The other night we met in his office. I was wearing the leather bodice, mega stilettos, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat, he didn't say a word. We just had wild sex all night."

The married one then said: "The other night I sent the kids to stay at my mother's for the night, I got myself ready, leather bodice, super stilettos and mask over my eyes. My husband came in from work, grabbed the TV controller and a beer, and said, "Hey Batman, what's for dinner?"

Bush livin Mooch's Dream

Helpful information:

A young guy from Wisconsin moves to Florida and goes to a big 'everything under one roof' department store looking for a job.

The manager says, 'Do you have any sales experience?

The kid says, 'Yeah. I was a salesman back in Wisconsin .'
 
Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. 'You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did.'
 
His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came to see him.

'How many customers bought something from you today?'
The kid says, 'One.'
 
 The boss says 'Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?'
 
The kid says, '$101,237.65'.
 
The boss says, '$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell him?'
 
The kid says, 'First, I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said 'down the coast,' so I told him he was going to  need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition.'
 
The boss says, 'A guy came in here to buy a fish hook  and you sold him a BOAT and a TRUCK? Is that right?'
 
The kid answers, 'No, the guy came in here to buy tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot; you should go fishin'.''

Top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators during the Summer Olympics that they would like to take back:

Weightlifting commentator:
'This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.’

Dressage commentator:
'This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.'

Paul Hamm, Gymnast:
'I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.'

Boxing Analyst:
'Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.'

Softball announcer:
'If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.'

Basketball analyst:
'He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.'

At the rowing medal ceremony:
'Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of IOC president is hugging the Cox of the British crew.'

Soccer commentator:
'Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field.'

Tennis commentator:
'One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. Oh my God, what have I just said?'

(Yes, before you check, Snopes says that this is of undetermined status.  None are from Beijing, since the Snopes article is from 2004, but I thought it was funny nonetheless.)

A UCLA STUDY - VERY INTERESTING


A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.

For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire.

No further studies are expected.

The baboon thought he was onto something, but was repulsed by the bait bag. Ive been robbed of my lunch far too many times. They are so human like. They unzip your bag get the tupperware out, open it, grab your sandwich and coke. Then they proceed to perch on a rock and eat your lunch while they watch you paddle in screaming at them, seemingly amused
I got the pics from a post on www.sealine.co.za
http://www.sealine.co.za/view_topic.php?id=8902&forum_id=26&page=4

Just wanted to introduce myself.  Hi!


Guess who???

Just wanted to introduce myself.  Hi!


Guess who???

I give up....who?

-FF