FUNNY STUFF......

The View from the Meadow's Daily Joke
How The Internet Began
The Incredibly Big Message (IBM):

In ancient Israel , it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was an amazing woman, beautiful, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

She came unto her husband, Abraham, and asked, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods and thou cans't do trade without ever leaving thy tent?"

And Abraham did look at her, as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said: "How, dear?"

Dot replied: "I plan to place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply, so you will immediately know who has the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long and he decided to let Dot have her way with the drum network. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.

To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was called Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew To The People (HTTP)

Soon this success aroused envy and a man named Maccabia hid in Abraham's drum and soon started to siphon off some of his business. But he was quickly discovered, arrested and prosecuted -- for insider trading.

Many young men were soon attracted to Dot Com's trading like a hungry horsefly takes to camel dung. They became known as Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.

The techies of the time were jumping with joy, exploiting the new riches from the technologies and so engulfed by the deafening sound of the drums that no one noticed that most of the money was going to that enterprising drum dealer, William Gates. His corporation soon bought off every drum maker in the land and then insisted that all drums would only work with their drumheads and drumsticks.

And Dot said: "Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others."

And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel , or eBay as it came to be known, and said: "We need a name that reflects what we are."

And Dot replied: "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."
"YAHOO," said Abraham.
And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.

Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside.

It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).

And that is the true story of how the Internet began.........

 

Found these the other day

Before GoPro.

Men beware!
E BAY SCAM!!
Be careful what you purchase on eBay
A friend spent $50 on a penis enlarger.
Bastards sent him a magnifying glass.
Instructions said don't use in the sunlight.

Men beware!
E BAY SCAM!!
Be careful what you purchase on eBay
A friend spent $50 on a penis enlarger.
Bastards sent him a magnifying glass.
Instructions said don't use in the sunlight.

Told you not to buy that Mooch!

Men beware!
E BAY SCAM!!
Be careful what you purchase on eBay
A friend spent $50 on a penis enlarger.
Bastards sent him a magnifying glass.
Instructions said don't use in the sunlight.

Told you not to buy that Mooch!

....don't need it

According to a news report, a certain private Catholic school was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 13-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine provided it was of a natural or neutral skin tone, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.   
 
Every night the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back. Finally the principal, Sister Mary, decided that something had to be done.

She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine the yawns from the little princesses).   
 
To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, Sister Paschal asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.  He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there  have been no lip prints on the mirror.   

There are teachers.....
 
And then there are educators!!!

Gotta see this one.... Watch with your woman.
Pay attention at 4:13 in the video.