FUNNY STUFF......

Usagi;  I am not so easily shockable.  My favorite CD is by Salty Dick, P.H.D..

For all those old dogs who still skateboard

Giving Clothes To Goodwill

It should make you feel all warm inside knowing that the clothes you previously wore are now gracing another grateful body!

Remember that cleaning out your closets at least once a year and giving former treasures to Goodwill (or the charity of your choice) is a great way to give back to your community and help those who are less fortunate.

So, look through your closets and see if you have something that doesn't fit or might be a little out of fashion.

Those things will probably fit someone else and could be the height of fashion for them.

With that in mind, I send along this heart-warming photo to inspire you and remind you that your efforts won't go unnoticed.

Giving Clothes To Goodwill

It should make you feel all warm inside knowing that the clothes you previously wore are now gracing another grateful body!

Remember that cleaning out your closets at least once a year and giving former treasures to Goodwill (or the charity of your choice) is a great way to give back to your community and help those who are less fortunate.

So, look through your closets and see if you have something that doesn't fit or might be a little out of fashion.

Those things will probably fit someone else and could be the height of fashion for them.

With that in mind, I send along this heart-warming photo to inspire you and remind you that your efforts won't go unnoticed.

Must have been tough letting those go Usagi

Must have been tough letting those go Usagi

Yeah, well the color just didn't match my Hobie... 

The Cannibal.....

The cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu...

+ Tourist: $5

+ Broiled Missionary: $10.00
+ Fried Explorer: $15.00
+ Baked Democrat or Grilled Republican: $100.00

The cannibal called the waiter over and asked, 'Why such a price difference for the Politician?'
 
The cook replied, 'Have you ever tried to clean one? They're so full of shit, it takes all morning.'

Why Parents Drink

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.

Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'

With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.


Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.

But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am.

But it's not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get
better.  She deserves it.

Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love,
Your Son Cody,

P.S.. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer.

I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home.

  Nice, Mickfish.

That cannibal joke reminded me of another one I heard years ago...

Two cannibals were strolling through the jungle one day when they happened upon a missionary who - unfortunately for him - had lost his way.  Being cannibals, they quickly speared him and set him on a slow roast for dinner.  While the missionary was cooking, they passed the time deciding how they would split their suprise bounty.  They eventually decided that one of them would start at the head and work downward, while the other one would start at the feet and work their way up, eventually meeting in the middle.

Soon enough their supper was ready and they began eating.  The first cannibal, who started at the head, kept thinking to himself "Wow, this is an excellent missionary...one of the best I've had all year!"  Wondering if his buddy felt the same, he swallowed an ear and asked how things were going at the other end.  The second cannibal enthusiastically replied, "Aw, this is great!  I'm having a ball!"  The first cannibal shot back, "Hey!  You're eating too fast!!" 

The little cannibal boy was listlessly pushing his food around his plate, not eating.

"What's wrong?", said his Mommy.  "You don't like your Grandmother?
Well, that's okay.  Then just eat your vegetables."

Why won't cannibals eat divorced women?
They're very bitter.

What did the cannibal do after he had dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his ass.

Two cannibals just finished a big meal and one turns to the other while rubbing his stomach with his fist and say, "You know, I just ate my mother-in-law, and she still doesn't agree with me!"

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"

An explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a blood thirsty group of cannibals. Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself, "Oh God, I'm screwed."

There is a ray of light from the sky above and a voice booms out: "No, you are NOT screwed. Pick up that stone at your feet and bash in the head of the chief standing in front of you."

So the explorer picks up the stone and proceeds to bash the life out of the chief. He stands above the lifeless body, breathing heavily and surrounded by 100 cannibals with a look of shock on their faces.

The voice booms out again: "Okay . . . . NOW you're screwed."


There were three men who were lost in the forest. They were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass the trial. The first step of the trial was to go into the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.

The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples."

The king then explains the trial to him - you have to shove the fruits up your ass without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten.

The first apple went in...but on the second one he winced in pain, so he was killed and went to heaven.

The second guy arrives with ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him, he thought to himself that this should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...but on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter, therefore also was killed.

The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh? You almost got away with it!"

The second one replied, "I couldn't help it. I saw the third guy coming with pineapples."

A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker were captured by cannibals. The chief comes to them and says, "The bad news is that now we've caught you and we're going to kill you. We will put you in a pot, cook you, eat you and then we're going to use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you can choose how to die."

The Frenchman says, "I take ze sword." The chief gives him a sword, the Frenchman says, "Vive la France!" and runs himself through.

The Englishman says, "a pistol for me please." The chief gives him a pistol, the Englishman points it at his head and says, "God save the queen!" and blows his brains out.

The New Yorker says, "Gimme a fawk!" The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over--the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There is blood gushing out all over, it's horrible. The chief is appalled and asks, "My God, what are you doing?"

And the New Yorker responds, "Soze much for ya canoe ya freakin' cannibal!

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't
mean they don't love you with all they have.

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they
were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into
the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna
promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.

When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she
immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now
considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and
bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to
rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the
person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound
mindedness.

The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt
right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."

Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can
I go home?"

instructional video a must for every man

[youtube=425,350]v/NbZWdl7cGck[/youtube]

I don't think I'll let the wife see this one however, if she does I 'll have to leave the room I was cracking up so much.

instructional video a must for every man

You're KILLIN' me Smalls!!!!!