Kayak Police Patrol

Scenario 1# Dudley do Right "the Jerster" is out on patrol and "catches" the evil fish killer calbear intruding on known seal territory. Since this is the Galapagos these seals are terrified and traumitized by the hideous calbears's thoughtless actions. He quickly and efficiently intimidates and then threatens calbear out of the area. Reporting back to NOAA Main Headquarters in Beverly Hills he details how he single handedly saved many many seals from a horrible fate. His master, undoubtly a highly paid eye candy type young woman with a phd in enviro phycho babble, compliments him and promises "more t-shirts and hats are on the way."

Scenario 2# Jerry aka douche bag attempts to open his brainwashed mouth but is immediately told what for by the mighty calbear. Attempting to open it's gob once again the heroic calbear looks this weak white whale in the eye, brandishes his "weapon", and fires a fatal shot straight thru the "eye" of the beastly Moby "Dick,"head. Retreating to it's watery lair this pathetic excuse for a whale Jerry reports back to the leader of his whale pod " Met heavy resistance today. My NOAA sticker is wilting straight off of my pink venus yak. Please to send another." The End.

P.S.Listen up people. If we have to cease and desist fishing everytime there is an effing furbag around then you might as well take your rod, put it across your knee, and snap it in half, and take your reel, lay it on the ground, and smash it flat with a sledge hammer cause you aint gonna be doin too much fishin chappy. Resist now or more and more areas will be closed for whatever reasons "they" can come up with.

Where is Bill and his buddies when wacking off motions are being used? 

Calbear I just realized we do have something in common. Very, very much in common. Dead seal man wouldnt eat any dried seaweed though. What a wimp. A seal came close enough to me at Paradise on Saturday and right when he was looking at me I whacked the water with my paddle hard enough to make it sound like a shot. That bastard never came back. I was defending myself from a whacko seal who for all I know has rabies and wants to eat my scrotum off.

Holy sh!t!  And I thought the fishing reports were great entertainment!  This has to be the most entertaining thing I've read on the internent all freekin' year!   

Where is Bill and his buddies when wacking off motions are being used?  

Well, hopefully they're behind a very thick tempered plate glass wall with all the bodily fluids and rabies flying around in here. jim

Where is Bill and his buddies when wacking off motions are being used? 

While I don't necessarily disagree with you, you sound bitter and resentful.

Although I did slightly chuckle at first, I do echo Allen's sentiment.

Michael

Last thing NCKA needs is to be labeled as disrespectful. I would have handled it differently, but that's me.

I for one have much less respect for  NOAA or any of it's "volunteers" now that I am a little more informed and aware of it's modern day expanded role in "our daily lives", that quote is from their website. It seems to be yet another bloated money wasting and in many respects redundant governmental agency paid for with our tax dollars that has grown to much more than just forecasting and reporting the weather. Calbear was shorefishing and I doubt he had a sign hanging from his neck that said NCKA so maybe we should worry about some of the comments that NCKA members might have made at the last MLPA meeting towards the enviros, NOT, or better yet.....WE SHOULD BE WORRIED ABOUT THE NEXT ROUND OF MPA CLOSURES INCLUDING THE SF BAY! Will you be there? I will be. And this time I will be much less polite. Maybe I will be labeled as disrespectful and maybe the powers that be will not want me to identify myself as a member of NCKA. But I will be there. You can be sure that the same NOAA rep that was at the last meeting advocating for the IPA will be there calling for max closures for the bay, and offering up "her c-130 and watercraft" to assist in air and water surveillance, and money for buoy's to mark closed areas. But that is just my opinion, and I am new to fishing, so please excuse my passion, NOT. jim

P.S. Please save your "just relax dude" comments to yourselves because you're wasting your breath and when they close your fav fishing waters you will need that breath.....so you can scream.

I was fishing on the ocean side of the jetty when some idiot in a NOAA National Marine Sanctuary kayak paddles up to me and says," Hi my names Jerry, I'm with National Blah Blah". I cut him off in mid sentence and said I don't care who you are and I didn't ask your name.

Sounds like "Jerry" approached in a friendly manner.....now if "Jerry" paddled up to me and started the conversation in a disrespectful manner then THIS would have been my reaction =   

Once again, this is just my personal opinion on the matter....

However you see it, the image is pretty friggin funny.

It does make you scratch your head that anyone at this point would expend any energy to "save the sealions," especially from paddling next to them.  Calbear was in more danger from them than the other way around.

The NOAA volunteer probably had more of an ecological impact from the gas he burned to get the launch so he could paddle out and scold him.

We have so many problems to deal with now. Thankfully sealions are no longer one of them.  It's amazing how these folks can't see the forest for the trees.

Maybe Hillary can use the beat off gesture in one of her diplomatic missions 

ever been to SD?
Sealions will steal you bait off the sabiki, off hte end of your line, its crazy

I completely understand the setiment and have joked about expressing my feelings in a similar manner.  But I think there are more diplomatic ways to make your point.

- can see it coming ... At the next round this same volunteer will take the stand and tell stories about fishermen disrespting the laws and harassing sea lions.  Whose side do you think Joe Public will take on this one?

-Allen

I could be wrong but I believe these guys are not wardens and do not have the right to issue citations.

Easy way to find out, threatening to cite you sounds like impersonating a peace officer.  Ask for a badge and if they don't have one call the local PD or Sherrif. 

I've found the best approach in life is to treat all people politely with respect. 

I generally lump rude irrational people into the broad moron category.  There are plenty of enviros and fisherman in this category, and they're all morons.

We should all strive for respectful disagreement.

"kill 'em with kindness"...

One thing we don't want is to be lumped into the loony category-- you lose all credibility when you get there, and you can't get back