She's gone & left me...

sorry to hear this brother.  My wife of 15 years left 2.5 years ago when our boy was 8 month old.  On her request, we moved her out of the house on my birthday.  Henry is 3.5 now and Even though I have to deal with his PIA mom often, I've moved on.  Straightened out my head, learned a lot, found an amazing girl and keep plugging away every day.  "Strangely" the ex still complains about the same shit she blamed on me and isn't any happier or content.... smh, some women...


Love those kids, but love yourself first and you'll do just fine
oh, and do more with NCKA, the best and most amazing supportive family of brothers from other mothers you'll ever know.
And Happy Birthday 

know that you will become stronger as a result. I think of losing people as a huge burden, whether by death or divorce.
 the burdens always there but you get stronger and that makes the burden easier and easier to carry until it's so light it's forgotten.

In tears over the response guys. Thank you so much. What an amazing group of real men (with feelings)!

Expect to hear from me over the coming weeks. I have this expensive fishing liscense I need to break in - but no more sturgeon fishing until my bicepts and self esteem get bigger.

All good advice here bro.

Same thing happened to me a dozen years ago. Ended up being the best thing to happen to me. At the time it sucked bad, but now I'm happy. Didn't really know at the time that I wasn't.

Be good to yourself and take them dogs for a walk. Chicks dig dogs.

Time takes Time--I had to do little stuff like make my bed...lol go through the motions...I was not doing good and went into a terrible tailspin-divorce in late 90's-which in the end only hurt me and wasted what time I have here on earth then-- we are only on this planet a short time and moving forward was the advice older folks were giving me-at the time i could not wrap my head around that concept of a short time here--but they were 110% right and all I managed to do was stay in my pain and waste some really good years in my mid 30's ,hurting ....after a time it was by my choice too

well time has gone by and everyone was right.
In fact,not being mean, the chick I was married to-in hindsight--was not worth it by a long shot--total bitch-and may have been banging a co-worker--not sure to this day- and really could give two shits on any given day,  dead weight -drag to be around-sex and having someone around was really all it was-no good shit

now i dont hate her--but i dont miss her either -at all
feel bad for her new husband really

long story I know--but if it helps any??
I was in pain and I could barley stay out the grave or jail I was in bad shape---all for????? HER...silly

Put on some hall n oats and get a good cry in once a day--get your A game and go hit the ocean/grocery/store/bowling alley/library/live the life you deserve-in the end its all we get really--oh and btw those are not her songs on the radio..lol they are yours

hang in there..make the bed ..walk the dog..do a nice thing for someone---the clock says tick tock --takes time-  but you WILL BE FINE ...you'll laugh again--even about this shit!!

That's a life altering event.  Sorry the fishing didn't help, but in time it will. 

Lots of folks deal with stressful events in different ways.  So listen to others when they say you will get through it and don't go down one of the dark roads with beating yourself up, drinking or trying to numb your pain.  Vent, talk about it and get it out of your head.  I know it sounds easier than it is but you can do it. 

  Yeah, that is never an easy pill to swallow...  Happened to me as well... but as others said, it was probably the best thing for both of us.  Of course, the worst is really yet to come (divorce proceedings suck...).  But if there was one thing that I could have told myself while I was going through all of that crap, is that it will be better in the end.  And the sooner you get to that point, the better.  NCKA was a huge help, life changing even, while I went though this, for sure...

Sorry to hear the bad news bro. In the darkest of hours look for the light on the other side. Keep your head up
and look for brighter skies. We are here for you. 

Hang in there brother. I'm finishing up on a divorce, was married for 29+ years. The best thing I did for myself was going back to church.
Happy birthday, mine was yesterday....54.

According to statistics over 50% will go through this....Me included. It hurts like Hell and stays with you but trust me...things will get less painful once you find what makes YOU happy.  You have a great support group here. Personal message any of us at any time...night or day.

The good news is Join  AOTY and make a run for it.

Happy Birthday...Do something special for yourself today...

sorry to hear such bad news. brought back some old feelings when i went through mine But the healling process starts NOW!

Happy Birthday Mann!

Sorry for your loss.  Definitely hit the gym and stay away from the booze, that's key.  Try to imagine where you want your life to be in a year and then work backwards creating milestones.  Then hit your milestones.  Do that with your divorce especially.  You want to be done with it as cheaply, quickly and painlessly as possible.  PM me if you want to bounce ideas or if you need a referral to a lawyer.

In the mean time, do things that make you happy and keep you grounded.  Even if you don't feel it, keep pushing.  Remind yourself what life is about.

Like for me, I like looking at pictures of people catching fish.  Here are a few that I like, I hope you like them too.













































Happy Birthday 

It's been over 20 years for me, lots of good advice been given so far, and like mentioned time and again, it will get better, make take some time though.

I couldn't think of a wiser thing for you to do than to post it up here, NCKA is an exemplary group of people,

My divorce proceedings were long and much more stressful than the breakup since we had 2 kids. 

What got me thru it was to adopt a couple rules that may help you to come out the other side with head held high and the respect of all around you.

Always conduct yourself in an honorable manner no matter how the other side acts.

And always make your decisions on based what's best for the children involved (even indirect effects are tramatic).

I found both of these very hard to do at times but they become a guiding light when things are the darkest.

Don't be reluctant to seek help if you think you need it,

I wish you well,

You've come to the right place and your NCKA bros have your back.  Remember "there are many fish in the sea".  Wishing you the best and Happy Birthday!!! 

Hang in there man, a lot of love and support here. Take it day by day, and in moments where you feel low hit us up here. Plenty of folks around who is willing to just chill or lend an ear.

Also if I could give some advice, when I went through my divorce 9 years ago. I immediately put myself back on the market. I sub-consciously found myself trying to replace what I had at any cost. This led to poor choices in woman. As most of the men here said it, take sometime - get yourself in a good spot financially, mentally and physically. Then start hunting down the ladies.

Keep your head up bro!

Happy birthday!