She's gone & left me...

Sorry folks, this isn't a happy one...

My wife walked out on me last week. We were together for 9 years. I raised her daughter as my own. She leaves me with two big ass dogs and the cat... And all the family pictures on the walls.

They meant the world to me and I was prepared to spend eternity embracing them.

I guess I got off course; too much work, not enough play. I wasn't acting as happy outside, as I actually felt inside. Men's health stuff hasn't helped either.

Well, I'm not sure why I'm announcing this here. I guess I'm just trying to open up somewhere I know some people understand community; a call to the brothers.

Today is my Birthday. I went to fish the Delta for the Original Super Bowl Sturgeon Derby, but came home early because staring at that fishing pole for hours led me to the dark head space. First time fishing made me feel bad.

Damn bro, that's some tough stuff right there.
You came to right place though, we will buoy you up!
Happy B-day!

Sorry folks, this isn't a happy one...

My wife walked out on me last week. We were together for 9 years. I raised her daughter as my own. She leaves me with two big ass dogs and the cat... And all the family pictures on the walls.

They meant the world to me and I was prepared to spend eternity embracing them.

I guess I got off course; too much work, not enough play. I wasn't acting as happy outside, as I actually felt inside. Men's health stuff hasn't helped either.

Well, I'm not sure why I'm announcing this here. I guess I'm just trying to open up somewhere I know some people understand community; a call to the brothers.

Today is my Birthday. I went to fish the Delta for the Original Super Bowl Sturgeon Derby, but came home early because staring at that fishing pole for hours led me to the dark head space. First time fishing made me feel bad.

Sorry to hear that.  Be sure:  It will get better.

Keep your head up been there before it will take time but you will heal.

That old saying " time heals all wounds" is correct.
You might be left with a scar though....learn from your mistakes if you feel that you could've done something different to have prevented this.

Now try and convert any negative energy that you may have into positive results.

Better yourself by working out, eating healthier and treating yourself to something that will bring you joy.

Stay away from eating unhealthy, alcohol or drugs.

Good luck to you and sorry for your loss.

Antonio

ok bro, its over and its gonna be just fine…eventually. You will still be there for your kids and they will still be there to love and respect the man you are. You will now have a little more time to work on yourself and a little less money to do it with. Try to convert all that pain inside and use it to improve yourself. Don't do it for yourself. Do it for your kids.You and your kids are still alive and healthy and you still have your whole lives ahead of you to share and explore this wonderful world.

Really sorry to hear all that you are going through , but glad you came to the right place for support. 

I don't know if sitting quiet and sturgeon fishing is the best idea, but hookup with some NCKA brothers and keep yourself busy.  It will be tough but as Yowlie said, it will get better!

Hang in there brother.

Take care, bro.

I was in the exact same boat as you. GF of nine years left me for a guy that worked in the same building as us. I was also a huge part of both of her kids' lives.

It destroyed me at the time, but ended up being the best thing that ever happened to me. Because of her I transferred departments, which saved me from a lay-off and is where I met my current gf and mother of my kids.

This will make you stronger and a better person.

First off, Happy Birthday.

Second, this is very sad news. I'm sorry to hear it. As CDM already said, it sounds like you have some insight into where things may have went wrong and the things that you can learn from it. It certainly doesnt make it any easier, but its an opportunity to grow. Take some time to process it, but don't dwell on it either. Take time to work on yourself ... physically, mentally, and emotionally. As they say, when one door closes, another door opens. Often times, closed doors may not be as closed as they appear as well.

Hang in there, man.

One door closes, two more open.

Hang in there.  Good advice above!

Bushy

Been there and still dealing with mine. Married 20 years and been single a year and a half. It's very tough at first but will get better with time. Don't let the little bullshit get to you let it just go on by. Do stuff for yourself get your mind right and move on. Get yourself financially set, physically and mentally healthy and roll on. I spent the first 6 months drinking everyday was a total waste of time and a huge waste of money. Give me a shout if you want to talk take care and Happy Birthday !!

Sorry for your pain.

Your willingness to be present to your experience (acknowledging your contributions, seeing the dark spaces) and your willingness to reach out for help, will both serve you well.  Even with that, time is a required ingredient. 

Honestly, its pretty amazing that you've moved past the shock of the event, past denial, past blaming, and are looking for ways to support yourself in healing.  I think that's a sign of a very mature attitude.

I'll second the other advice of taking care of yourself, eating well, avoiding alcohol, and seeking the company and friendship of positive people.  You may be able to find a silver-lining here, too.  Was there anything you had been wanting to do, or a change you wanted to make, that you thought was incompatible or difficult with the requirements of supporting a family?  You could think about doing that now, before you have a family again.

And at least she didn't take the dogs, eh?  Dogs always love you. 

Sorry your going through this ..there's good advice above ...hang in there..remember we are here for you ..Dont beat yourself up..sounds like your taking responsibility for your part and that's the first step to moving on ..you'll heal and be better for it ..remember you have friends and you have worth , you do matter .

Vic

Same thing happened to me 20 years ago. Hurt like hell. It's true that time is a healer.
I still hate the B though.

Sending good vibe to you and happy birthday bro.