“get it out of my chest” to a bunch of men I feel connected to.

I hope it helped to get it off your chest. Did you fight the restraining order?  Several years ago my brother let something like that go thru the court just to avoid the fight in court. Then he discovered that he lost his right to own a firearm. I think in some cases it is possible to have the restraing order overturned and maybe get your rights back. Would most likely require a lawyer though.

Life can be a bitch and sometimes you marry one. Good luck. I started over at 35. That divorce was worth every cent. Every cent.

  Amen to THAT !        Been there done that.           

If you had your house in a trust, bank accounts too, she wouldn't have been able to touch 'em. 
I'd also be questioning your right to own a gun.  If you were not convicted of any crime, I just don't believe you can loose your constitutionally protected right to keep and bear arms.  Did you admit to anything?  Perhaps you threw a chair or broke some dishes and pleaded to a lesser charge and now that is why you can't own a gun after she filed the restraining order? 
If she's so rich and smart, she also knows that purgery is going to cost her a whole lot more than it would cost you by her lies in court. 

1) no matter where you put your assets, it's for grab and they can get it
2) If ANYONE file a TRO against you a. it's in effect immediately, b. you lose your gun right. This is the law.
3) Perjury is a felony charge and could only filed by DA. Your only remedy is to file a complaint to the DA office ... and according to "findlaw.com" the DA almost never pursue perjury cases - So dont count on it.

That's why I mentioned this is fucked up. I hope this knowledge will be beneficial to others.

2) If ANYONE file a TRO against you a. it's in effect immediately, b. you lose your gun right. This is the law.

That's why I mentioned this is fucked up. I hope this knowledge will be beneficial to others.

When they file for a restraining order, a temporary one might be granted, but not for five years. There has to be a trial or hearing. I don't believe you can lose your rights just from an accusation. If you show up you can fight and maybe prevent a "conviction". Did you fight or consent or just skip it?

2) If ANYONE file a TRO against you a. it's in effect immediately, b. you lose your gun right. This is the law.

That's why I mentioned this is fucked up. I hope this knowledge will be beneficial to others.

When they file for a restraining order, a temporary one might be granted, but not for five years. There has to be a trial or hearing. I don't believe you can lose your rights just from an accusation. If you show up you can fight and maybe prevent a "conviction". Did you fight or consent or just skip it?

You are correct, a TRO is issued immediately, then after hearing the 3 or 5 year RO might be issued. And yes I went to the court and fought the case ... I was alone against 2 of her attorneys. BTW, a TRO or RO is not a conviction or even a misdemeanor, but if you're a father you can lose visitation rights, custody etc + gun rights.

There's always two sides to every story.  I wonder what her side is?

If you had your house in a trust, bank accounts too, she wouldn't have been able to touch 'em. 

I'd also be questioning your right to own a gun.  If you were not convicted of any crime, I just don't believe you can loose your constitutionally protected right to keep and bear arms.  Did you admit to anything?  Perhaps you threw a chair or broke some dishes and pleaded to a lesser charge and now that is why you can't own a gun after she filed the restraining order? 

If she's so rich and smart, she also knows that purgery is going to cost her a whole lot more than it would cost you by her lies in court. 

Alright to play HER game too.  What stops you from making the same accusations; that you are in fear she'll harm you for example. 

In any case, good luck getting out of this mess. 

 

Pretty much this entire post is wrong. You should probably avoid chiming in on legal matters.

Charlie-

I'm sorry this happened to you. It's part of the courtship exit strategy that some women have and you found out the hard way. It isn't right but it is what we have to live with. It is much easier for a judge to grant a peremenant restraining order and be wrong than to fail to grant one and have something violent happen between the parties, so it is natural to err on the side of caution. Not saying its right, just that it is understandable how they get there in borderline or he said/she said cases.

Been there man, rich bitches. crash is right its just an exit strategy, but RO are not exactly easy to establish. If you don't have kids its a blessing, put your guns in someone else name, get yourself a 25 yr old girlfriend and move on.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't waste another precious moment of your life.

So sorry you are going through this Charlie. I hope all goes well soon and things will fall in your favor for a change. For now, try and come out and kayak fish with us to get your mind away from it all. Take care brother.

Jedmo

Been there man, rich bitches. crash is right its just an exit strategy, but RO are not exactly easy to establish. If you don't have kids its a blessing, put your guns in someone else name, get yourself a 25 yr old girlfriend and move on.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't waste another precious moment of your life.

now that's what I call good advice!

 I'm doing much better today and really appreciate your support ... Thank you all!
AND I plan on moving on, so Now back to fishing talk -)

It all gets better homes. What sucks now, will be the best thing that has ever happened to you a year or two from now. RO's are no thang. Stay away, it's that easy.

+1
I had a GF for six years with a RO out on her ex-husband. He violated it dozens of times with nothing more than a warning. He would park behind her and scream insults at her for half an hour until the cops came. Always a warning. She had two teenage daughters with him so I couldn't settle things with him personally(physically) without becoming the bad guy. 

Have a friend keep your guns for a while. Don't advertise that you go hunting. It's not like your on parole.

You divorced 5 years ago and started a new family then.  Now, 5 years later, the ex gets a RO for 5 years?  There's something you aren't telling us I think...

And trusts do protect your personal assets from lawsuits and judgements.  I know.  A criminal restitution for several 100's of thousands of dollars was awarded to me.  The criminal spent 7 years in prison.  (Arson of an occupied dwelling)  She still owns 7 properties, 5 of them have homes on them.  Several bank accounts as well.  But, because they are in trust, the only access is when she withdraws or somehow puts the money in her own name.  She's out now and living in one of these homes even now.  The DA, my court appointed victim's defense agent and the California Franchise Tax Board can't touch a dime of her assets since they are not in her name.  A few weeks ago, she inherited over $1M from her father's estate.  All protected.  No way to access this under the court order, civil awards, etc. 

I don't know you, never met.  But if some woman you were married to 5 years ago is still actively and successfully able to keep you broke and initiate a new, last Friday I believe you said, RO, then I've got to believe there's just got to be some sort of contact you are still having with her on some level. 

You divorced 5 years ago and started a new family then.  Now, 5 years later, the ex gets a RO for 5 years?  There's something you aren't telling us I think...

And trusts do protect your personal assets from lawsuits and judgements.  I know.  A criminal restitution for several 100's of thousands of dollars was awarded to me.  The criminal spent 7 years in prison.  (Arson of an occupied dwelling)  She still owns 7 properties, 5 of them have homes on them.  Several bank accounts as well.  But, because they are in trust, the only access is when she withdraws or somehow puts the money in her own name.  She's out now and living in one of these homes even now.  The DA, my court appointed victim's defense agent and the California Franchise Tax Board can't touch a dime of her assets since they are not in her name.  A few weeks ago, she inherited over $1M from her father's estate.  All protected.  No way to access this under the court order, civil awards, etc. 

I don't know you, never met.  But if some woman you were married to 5 years ago is still actively and successfully able to keep you broke and initiate a new, last Friday I believe you said, RO, then I've got to believe there's just got to be some sort of contact you are still having with her on some level.

As I mentioned maybe this was not the right place to post ... But all your questions are answered on my blog (I provided URL) in addition to URLs to court documents and screenshots of everything I referenced in my blog ... I hope this will answer you questions. Social media and the power of transparency are my only weapon in this asymmetric litigation.
C-
PS: We're still editing the blog for last Friday hearing. I'm appealing the RO and will file a complain for perjury, just to know I've done EVERYTHING I could.

And trusts do protect your personal assets from lawsuits and judgements.  I know.  A criminal restitution for several 100's of thousands of dollars was awarded to me.  The criminal spent 7 years in prison.  (Arson of an occupied dwelling)  She still owns 7 properties, 5 of them have homes on them.  Several bank accounts as well.  But, because they are in trust, the only access is when she withdraws or somehow puts the money in her own name.  She's out now and living in one of these homes even now.  The DA, my court appointed victim's defense agent and the California Franchise Tax Board can't touch a dime of her assets since they are not in her name.  A few weeks ago, she inherited over $1M from her father's estate.  All protected.  No way to access this under the court order, civil awards, etc. 

The only way to protect assets like this is that she received them in a "spendthrift trust", or she receives payment from such a trust (like NFL player's retirement trust, think OJ Simpson), proceeds from an Indian tribe, or some other protected source.

You cannot, in California, place your assets into a self-settled trust of which you are the beneficiary and protect the assets from your creditors.  You can generally give money to someone else in trust and protect it from their creditors.

It gets pretty complicated and blanket statements are probably wrong.  You should probably have your situation reviewed with fresh eyes by a collection attorney. 

As for Charlie, sounds like the assets weren't his to begin with, they were hers.  Its also entirely possible that he thought he could handle the entire matter without attorneys and ended up failing to protect his interests, allowing himself to get screwed.  We don't know enough about the situation to know the answer.

Anyway, good luck with all of this.  It sucks to hear about guys on the boards getting screwed by the system. 

Thanks for sharing your story & hopefully we helped you get it off your chest. I wish I had some relevant advice, but i don't. Instead, I see it as something I can learn from. But I sincerely hope you can get it resolved with a happy ending! There's probably some good advice within this community, so I think your post is totally welcomed btw.