Season of giving?why do I feel like crap.

Today after taking the family out for a bite I was heading on to the freeway.like most of the on ramps in most city's there are the pan handlers.you got the dope fiends,the lazy bums then you get the genuine down on there luck homeless people.I never give to these people cause most of them are running a scam anyways.how do you expect me to give a 20 year old my hard earned money cause he/she don't wanna work.or the so called homeless with a clean white shirt with matching hat and shoes.
   This guy just sat there in his wheel chair holding a sign missing legs clothes filhty,as I pulled up he didn't even turn to ask me fir change like the others.you can see he doesn't want to be there in that situation and you can see dignity in his eyes.so I opened the ash tray dug up a dollar worth of quarters and handed to him.he accepts and said thanks.and I'm on my way.
      As I'm driving off I start thinking would've really hurt me to give this guy a few bucks.all I had in my wallet was a twenty and no smaller bills.would've hurt me that much if I had given him my twenty.he  needed it more than me here I am driving off in my suv full stomach and started feeling like crap.how often we piss off money on crap we don't need.how many of use got drawers,closets full of crap that we probably won't even use.anyways it's bugging the he'll out of me

Today after taking the family out for a bite I was heading on to the freeway.like most of the on ramps in most city's there are the pan handlers.you got the dope fiends,the lazy bums then you get the genuine down on there luck homeless people.I never give to these people cause most of them are running a scam anyways.how do you expect me to give a 20 year old my hard earned money cause he/she don't wanna work.or the so called homeless with a clean white shirt with matching hat and shoes.
   This guy just sat there in his wheel chair holding a sign missing legs clothes filhty,as I pulled up he didn't even turn to ask me fir change like the others.you can see he doesn't want to be there in that situation and you can see dignity in his eyes.so I opened the ash tray dug up a dollar worth of quarters and handed to him.he accepts and said thanks.and I'm on my way.
      As I'm driving off I start thinking would've really hurt me to give this guy a few bucks.all I had in my wallet was a twenty and no smaller bills.would've hurt me that much if I had given him my twenty.he  needed it more than me here I am driving off in my suv full stomach and started feeling like crap.how often we piss off money on crap we don't need.how many of use got drawers,closets full of crap that we probably won't even use.anyways it's bugging the he'll out of me

I guess you and I might differ on how many of those people really need it versus the ones who are running a scam or too lazy to get a job.  In this day and age I tend to give those people the benefit of the doubt.  I've been lucky all my life to not have to do without, never had everything I wanted, but never felt threatened by homelessness either.

So yeah I hear you, , I help out a few organizations financially on a monthly basis, but when I walk out of a store with  $200 setup I don't really need and see that guy (girl or family) on the way home it really makes me think,,,,,,,,,,,,always leaves me feeling I could (should?) do more.


Thanks for putting it out there

There is a pretty good chance if you gave him money he would spend it on booze or drugs, so you shouldn't feel bad about not kicking down some cash. But 99 percent of genuinely needy people will be very grateful for food or clean blankets. During the holidays i buy 5 dollar rolled up blankets from khols and randomly pass them out to the sign holders...All year round i pass out my warm restaurant leftovers to the first bum (needy looking) that i see. I love when a needy looking person asks for money and i say no, but offer them food and their eyes light up and a giant smile comes across their face as i hand them a cheeseburger or even walk them into taco bell just to hook them up...i pay at the register for them then wish them luck and move on, with a smile of my own. A small percentage will actually refuse food, but this is because they have a food source just not a booze/drug source...I still walk away with a smile because i know i tried and he/she wasnt worthy of my generosity....Maybe kicking down a blanket or a cheeseburger to the wheelchair guy (since hes probably still there) will make you feel less crappy..shucks it may even be one of the best highlights of this thanksgiving...Have a great turkey day...Peace.

If you have old jackets...

http://onewarmcoat.org/2010/11/i-left-my-coat-in-san-francisco-2/

Stop and talk to them.  Probably the most beneficial thing you can do.  Acknowledgement goes a long way.  Plus, you will find what will most benefit them the most (and better chance of figuring out if they are just scamming).  Be careful though, once you break down that barrier you might just get addicted to helping. 

Giving service is the key... cash seldom helps but we have a genuine blast as a family ringing and singing around the salvation army bucket. People give more and often join in!!! They help so many people all year long. Soup kitchens always need help too. Giving of self feels good and does more in the long run to help people in need.

I have to say that cash most likely contributes to them being homeless longer as its mostly used for addictions or gets them rolled for their money or scammers.
If I offer food or a cup of coffee I get the "no thanks" more often than not.  A few have even said that they just want something to drink or smoke to get high. I have even offered the empty gas can crowd to fill their can and been turned down. Lots of drug scams out there.
I saw the guy that does the regular mall corner buying a bunch of DVD's last week. Special place in Hell for those folks.   I give at least 10% of everything that comes thru my door away but, no longer to street folks.

I know the feeling believing everyone is a scammer. At this point I pretty much only give food. We also give a lot of toys and clothing to charity organizations. From what I have been told by lots of underprivileged and homeless folks the majority of the folks asking for money are not in the most need but opportunistic. This is a generalization not a rule.

This is one reason even though I do not like to see folks digging though the trash at the park or occasionally in my driveway taking recycling I step back and think hell at least they are working for a few bucks not just sitting on the corner for a handout.

That said I am pretty jaded about such things. 

IMHO you can do more good giving your $20 to an organization who specializes in helping others.

They don't need a handout, they need a hand up. 

Give to organizations that can give them a hand up like the United Way, Salvation Army or your local food bank.

We have a great Rescue Mission in Redding. I know the money will feed the body and the soul. 

Dune, I know that feeling. Its real and its worth discussing for sure. Whether someone is down on their luck or using alcohol and drugs it doesn't matter. Maybe I'm giving the guy or gal the last drink they will take. Then they see it and get sober. maybe. I don't know. I don't like giving to large organizations that have huge payrolls. The railroad tracks are right behind my house in Petaluma. During the year as the weather changes there are folks from all over coming through Petaluma. I walk my dog out there twice a day. I talk to them. I don't treat them like they are idiots or anything like that. I don't judge them. Sometimes I help them. They aren't dumb people at all. Most of them have a disease called alcoholism. Plus the fact that really, if I were to lose my job and didn't have any family around at all,or unemployment insurance, I could be homeless in a matter of time.

So Dune you are right. You are so fucking right. Imagine having to live like that. Hanging your head in disgrace being forced to beg for money. 5 bucks isn't a lot of money to us most of the time.

I want to thank you Dune for making me think more about this. What can I do to make someones day who's down and out. Ive given money to these folks at the tracks and when I do I feel good. I don't do it all the time. Its days like this that let me know how fortunate I really am. Thanks again.

Giving service is the key... cash seldom helps but we have a genuine blast as a family ringing and singing around the salvation army bucket. People give more and often join in!!! They help so many people all year long. Soup kitchens always need help too. Giving of self feels good and does more in the long run to help people in need.

   I believe one of the best things you can do is around this time of year pick up and extra ham or a turkey since they tend to be less expensive and donate it to a local food bank or food kitchen. I know that many of us myself included can afford one extra turkey or ham or a sack of potatoes and for those who cant then definitely if you feel so inclined show up at one of these places and just ask what can i do to help? I think you would be amazed at the new friends you make. Just imagine if everyone of us in ncka gave one thing and 4 hours of our time. Now that would be a difference maker

I vacillate between magnanimous and indignation re homeless.  working in FiDi in sf i used to haaaaaaaate the bums that wd accost me daily. Many on social assistance w d just smoke or drink or shoot up they money. Once a guy that smelt unbelievably foul "held up" a BART train by sayin he wasnt exiting until someone gave him a dollar. Domestic terrorism, i say..  Several people quickly threw money at him.  Effluent meets affluent.

Then last month i saw a young woman pan handler near my house on the corner of bascom and hamilton. Cdnt have been more than twenty. I thought wtf she shd be hanging out at the mall with friends talking about boys, not begging for change on the street. 

Help the youth if you can. They still have a chance of becoming productive members of society and are frequently in dire straits for reasons entirely out of their control

IMHO you can do more good giving your $20 to an organization who specializes in helping others.

They don't need a handout, they need a hand up. 

Give to organizations that can give them a hand up like the United Way, Salvation Army or your local food bank.

I agree.
You did the right thing; listening to that internal alarm that tells you that you need to be watchful of a scam but still recognize the need to support the less fortunate. 

You can still use your $20 in an easy way;
Here's a link to a charity site that does not use a big chunk of the donations for their own salaries;

https://donate.salvationarmyusa.org/sslpage.aspx?pid=206&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=paid%2Bsearch

Every time there's a Hurricane Sandy, Katrina, or other need I'm made aware of, I drop a $20 with these guys and know it's going to do the most good. 

Religion aside.. the LDS Church helps all over the globe. The church and members were the first in after sandy and continue there helping to distribute food and supplies to those in need that can't go get stuff themselves. They are drilling wells in africa and educating (non secular) adults and children in other countries so that they can live and leed others to better lives. The missionarys donate 2 years to service (yes they will help dig a ditch or carry groceries) I spent two years in Brazil teaching and helping others. My sons went to new york and Guatemala. My wife has zip lock bags with a protien bar, bottled water, new socks and social assistance forms and instructions on how and where they can get food ect in our area. She gives those instead of cash... I have those in our area that ISlip a fiver to that hang around and offer more if they come help rake or something at my shop. Most decline, some come... We all make those decisions every day. Feel good about the fact you care at all. Help where you can. Support good charities. Take care of your family and above all have joy in this season.