New Fathers: How to have a massive WAF crash or "Shut your pie-hole, idiot"

On the bright side, becoming a new daddy offers countless opportunities to print WAF like confetti - late night diaper changes (hell any volunteered diaper change is a goldmine), feedings, volunteer to babysit and send your wife to the spa etc. etc.

And as far as chick magnets go at the coffee shop, babies even outrank lab puppies!

Wives know that too. At least mine did. She thought it was mildly amusing and asked a little sarcastically what the play in such a situation was. Should have kept my mouth shut here, right? Sadly, I didn't...

Instead, I had to blurt out, "I tell them my wife died in childbirth and I'm just trying to make sure my daughter gets some proper female influence in her life."

I could literally smell the smoke of the burning WAF points...

that's a good one. I just usually say when holding my kids..."hey sweetie. can you say hi to new mommy?"

Sadly, I didn't...

Instead, I had to blurt out, "I tell them my wife died in childbirth and I'm just trying to make sure my daughter gets some proper female influence in her life."

I could literally smell the smoke of the burning WAF points...

LMFAO

And you're 43 ?

I'm 57, and have the same GF for a long time, every once in awhile I still drop a bomb myself,,,,,,,

Damn they just don't have a sense of humor do they....?


I'm still laughing

Whoa!!! I bet you were thinking "Did I just say that?  Or did I just think it?"

Despite the abundant WAF opportunities that present themselves... the exchange rate for PPWAF (PostPartum WAF) is very unfavorable... it's kinda like shopping in Europe with Canadian dollars. 

Smooth!

ooooohhhhhh  I always keep quiet in those situations, I can smell the trap!!  But then, keeping quiet often starts it's own fight  Good luck 

the secret to everlasting harmony young grasshopper is to deny your inner smartass of one heck of a line.  Don't stare at the boob, or you will miss all that heavenly glory.  Do you understand? 

 

Why do us married guys find this so hilarious, yet so painful?

Because at one point or another, we've placed the same shoe in our own mouths...

 

Why do us married guys find this so hilarious, yet so painful?

Because at one point or another, we've placed the same shoe in our own mouths...

 

exactly ... but my wife usually uses the shoe as a javelin afterwards ...

e2g sensei, I will endeavor to hear the butterfly wings flapping.

The good news is that this morning she could see the humor it. She didn't forgive me, but she saw the humor in it. Kinda sorta.

Timing couldn't have been worse though since I was letting her know that a WSB hunt was on for Saturday.

Making up deficit WAF points is definitely more costly than spending accrued points, isn't it?

@KZ - your right about the poor exchange rate!
@Dale L - I really should know better. Been married 18 years...I need to update the filters. Post pregnancy women are still hormonally unbalanced I think.

Yeah, you might as well just hang your rod up for the rest of the year.  All of them!

Why do us married guys find this so hilarious, yet so painful?

Because at one point or another, we've placed the same shoe in our own mouths...

 

exactly ... but my wife usually uses the shoe as a javelin afterwards ...

My wife has the wickedest throwing arm in the universe and no detectable windup so you just have to be quick on the duck

I've seen all kinds of objects - coffee mugs, chopsticks, big chinese vases coming at my head

so far nothing has connected, knock on wood

My wife has the wickedest throwing arm in the universe and no detectable windup so you just have to be quick on the duck

I've seen all kinds of objects - coffee mugs, chopsticks, big chinese vases coming at my head

so far nothing has connected, knock on wood

thats cuz she hasnt actually aimed to hit you...yet 

ouch!!..lol

Ouch....and don't think for a second that she is threw with you. You haven't heard the last of this one.

-FF