not humanly possible

When stationed in Holland, I went and had a chili dinner with some National friends and drank a few too many Heinekens. Next day a couple of us go tot he supermarket, and I am releasing silent but deadlies. That market was clearing out quickly, most awful things I have ever passed, but funny as hell!

is a got to share scenario.
 working on Napa River Parks and Recreation Riverfront buddy. told my lunch bag looked like a purse. yeah not a problem I'm happy she makes me lunch to go to work with.. perfect opportunity Rose to grab his hand and look like his significant other.
 he is still a little mad at me
 and yes if you have brown skin you still blush.

Is it illegal to feed feral cats prompted this post.
About 30 years back we were fishing the Eel River North of Garberville and stopped by a little greasy spoon in Garberville for some breakfast at a place called the Eel River Cafe. There was only one bathroom and it's door was paper thin with no ventilation fan so they kept the window open.
The diner was filled to capacity not to mention a couple of cute waitresses, we are all paid our bill and left some tips and one of the guys had to use the bathroom said he'd be out in a few minutes.
As I passed by the bathroom window I started making some loud obnoxious sound effects the kind that you would want to keep as quiet as possible and I made them directly into the window. He was as mad as a hornet and said everybody looked at him when he walked out of the bathroom

Is it illegal to feed feral cats prompted this post.
About 30 years back we were fishing the Eel River North of Garberville and stopped by a little greasy spoon in Garberville for some breakfast at a place called the Eel River Cafe. There was only one bathroom and it's door was paper thin with no ventilation fan so they kept the window open.
The diner was filled to capacity not to mention a couple of cute waitresses, we are all paid our bill and left some tips and one of the guys had to use the bathroom said he'd be out in a few minutes.
As I passed by the bathroom window I started making some loud obnoxious sound effects the kind that you would want to keep as quiet as possible and I made them directly into the window. He was as mad as a hornet and said everybody looked at him when he walked out of the bathroom

YES!!!!!   That's why I have a FART App on my phone!

I’ve been to the Eel River Cafe many times, the food is usually plenty and tasty if you are ok with conventional grub.

Our fireworks crew took that place over, but folks were nice about it. You nailed the description of the restroom. Too funny, I wish I’d have thought of that prank, some of the guys “deserve” it.

Is it illegal to feed feral cats prompted this post.
About 30 years back we were fishing the Eel River North of Garberville and stopped by a little greasy spoon in Garberville for some breakfast at a place called the Eel River Cafe. There was only one bathroom and it's door was paper thin with no ventilation fan so they kept the window open.
The diner was filled to capacity not to mention a couple of cute waitresses, we are all paid our bill and left some tips and one of the guys had to use the bathroom said he'd be out in a few minutes.
As I passed by the bathroom window I started making some loud obnoxious sound effects the kind that you would want to keep as quiet as possible and I made them directly into the window. He was as mad as a hornet and said everybody looked at him when he walked out of the bathroom

This cracked me up 

 
  Hahaha while in Navy Boot camp, (Circa 1979) Dude runs out of the cafeteria head yelling "Yall gota see this" One of the toilets had a round, firewood log sized  terd refusing to fit down the toilet!  Everyone knew who gave birth to that monster, it could only have been the one guy.  He was a giant guy easily pushing 300lb mark but not a super fat guy! Just BIG. 
  Glad I wasn't janitorial servicer that night!

At the end of January of this year, after four straight days of the same symptoms, my EMT training kicked in and I realized that chest pain that goes away with rest is a bad, bad thing. In February, my new friends at St. Mary’s Cardiology in Reno installed two new stents.

After that, I spent some time in Cardiac Rehab where I was formally introduced to vegetables. Prior to this time I had a knowledge of their existence, but would avoid them at all costs. Today, they are a major part of my diet, replacing the bacon and rib-eyes that would have normally been consumed.

With the above lead in, I started getting lots of fiber at every meal that had previously never happened. At that point, a new phenomenon kicked in, especially if brussel sprouts or onions were involved. At first it was convenient to blame it on our older dog, and the poor thing suffered a bit of character assassination. But,  it did not take long before my wonderful wife and kids became wise and Bowie was vindicated.

At first, it was kind of funny... The type of stuff you would normally claim. But lately, I find the couch and I are getting more comfortable with each other, on a voluntary basis, in an effort to keep the Mrs. happy and on an even keel. The stents were self inflicted...  but the gas that came from the new diet is just... wrong.

YES!!!!!   That's why I have a FART App on my phone!

Oh come on! You don't need an app for that.

I was at the doctors office a number of years ago getting my yearly physical. The awkward moment came and he had to check my prostate the old fashioned way, after I awkwardly pulled back up my pants he hands me a small container with a wood stick and explains that I need to give him a stool sample. Without thinking or hesitating I replied why don't you just get some off of your finger, he looks at me with a disgusted look (priceless) and does not respond, I couldn't stop laughing all the way home and still makes me laugh all these years later.

 

One thing that is awesome about pancreatic failure is the RAUNCHY farts! I LOVE going to Walmart and farting in a busy aisle and go around the back to watch the effect. When I say raunchy, paint peeling gas!
Gotta enjoy the little things...