Need new home for “Spawn of Satan” lure

Now, reading my own headline, please don’t get me wrong, this lure isn’t a Spawn of Satan lure in that it will attract and catch the Spawn of Satan, this lure IS the Spawn of Satan, and has been on some kind of evil vendetta out to drink my blood (and possibly my soul) since I bought it.

Not having any access to Holy Water or Hallowed Ground myself, I am not able to destroy it, so I thought at the very least I would search for a new home for the lure, AND, since I am essentially Agnostic (but have a deep respect for people’s religious beliefs,) my only avenue to rid myself of this curse is the kayak fishing forums.

I am looking for someone to take this lure from me and give it a new home, preferably the new owner would be clergy, have a clerical background, practitioner of Judaism, Santeria, Haitian Voodoo, own a Bible, Torah, Koran, etc, know how to pray, own or be able to fabricate silver bullets, have access to holy relics or at least own one slice of face-of-Jesus-toast.

I have attached a photograph of the SoS-Lure, but briefly it is genus “Rattle-Trap,” with flat red evil-doll eyes that follow you around the room, deceptively clean smooth white/gray body, with hooks that are so friggen sharp that they can cut you just thinking about them, and so sticky that, without moving, they can hook themselves (into the barb) into anything within a 10 ½” radius.

List of items SoS has hooked;

•   My thumb (into the barb…)
•   My dashboard cover
•   My finger (just bled on this one)
•   The carry straps on my kayak
•   My other finger (JUST a bleeder)
•   My window sun shade
•   My other finger (yup, another bleeder)
•   My anchor line
•   My leg
•   My jeans
•   My arm
•   My landing net
•   The same finger (bled)
•   The wristpad under my computer keyboard (yeah….)
•   The back of the same thumb\

List of items the SoS hasn’t hooked:

•   Fish…..

So, please post here what you think your qualifications would be to house (or possibly exorcise) the SoS lure, and after a careful review (and a written release of liability) I will mail the SoS to you free of charge.

Please note; I will not be fooled into sending this lure (as a curse) to your Ex-wife, or as a Worker’s Comp scam to your brother-in-law in the Postal Service! I will ship this in a box laced with garlic and smeared with kosher gefilte-fish (the only religious things I can lay my hands on at the moment,,) to prevent any such “accidents” from happening!!

Good luck, and may your god have mercy on your soul…

 

You have one too?  I thought my sabiki was the ONLY evil one out there which managed to snag my table saw, my net, my car headrest, my net again, my other rod's ... three times, my trunk latch, the tiny gap in between the wood slats on the dock, my net yet again, no other rod yet again & finally the tramp on my AI.  To add insult to injury that day, it ONLY managed to catch lizardfish.

Warning.... Somewhere along I80 between disco park and hwy 65 there is another rattle trap laying in wait for another victim... Don't stop, don't even think about it... I saw it yesterday. still there. It's white belly shining in the sun... It will bring only sorrow

Maybe we can get a group rate for lure exorcism.

Be glad it did not hook you here:



 

I had one too!!!!! I literally cut it out of a landing net there by rendering the net useless. I have since then switched to rubber nets for ANYTHING that smells like a treble hook....WAIT....perhaps the lure is the means of transport for the true spawn....THE TREBLE HOOK!

Isaiah 14:12 
Satan (TREBLE HOOK) used to be beautiful. And that is how he disguises himself. If sin didn't look pretty (and catch fish), we wouldn't do it.

It's amazing how a hook can find its way into ANYTHING & EVERYTHING within reach EXCEPT a fishes mouth

Does it have these on it? http://samuraitackle.com/fishing/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=141_68_90_487&products_id=6888 

Does it have these on it? http://samuraitackle.com/fishing/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=141_68_90_487&products_id=6888 

SEE!

>:D:D

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Be glad it did not hook you here:



 

I got a bad rap on that one!!

thanks again to Dr TallPaul, and for polepole who held my hand during the exraction proces.

Bushy