Anyone with an Autistic or child with ADHD?

Today was the first day of preliminary screening for Autism and ADHD. After an hour of observation from the doctor, he said my 3 year old son Mason has signs of both Autism and ADHD, but is more concerned with his characteristics of Autism Spectrum Disorder. My son is very independent, and does not socialize with other children very well, and rarely makes eye contact or acknowledge you when you are talking to him. It's hard but I am giving him the help he needs. Two weeks from now I am having an Autism specialist come for six hours to discretely evaluate him and his behavior at his daycare. A price tag of $350 but worth the benefits.

The hardest thing is his mother and I share custody of him (50/50, week on, week off) and she thinks Mason has no problems and I am a bad father for trying to have him diagnosed for something she knows he doesn't have. She is very negative and selfish sometimes. That is the big hurdle I have to jump if he is diagnosed.

I should also add that I am not wanting to go the drug/medication route, I just want to find what will most help Mason learn and learn to socialize.

The place I took him to is mostly a non-profit clinic, so it will help people like me on a low budget. Here is the website to the clinic he is being evaluated at: http://www.mindmattersclinic.org/

If any of you have any stories on a similar subject, please feel free to share.

Jeff

A very good friend of mine has experience raising his Autistic son who is 6 yrs old now.  If you want to talk to him for any questions or advise, please PM me your number and I'll talk to my friend to give you a call.

My heart goes out you.  Seems like you are a great father and I hope and will pray it's just adhd.  God bless. Andy

Hey Jeff, my daughter is 6 1/2  and we have been going to specilist since she  was 3 . 2yrs ago she was  finally diagnosed  with Hemeoplegia of childhood (small seisures)and Iwas very much against having her on meds.I gave permission and was very glad with the results.My girl goes to special classes for her moter skills.We had another evaluation donebecause of her lack of attention and inability to stay focused.After6 months wating we finaly  got results back and was  advised to put her on  ADDtipe  of drugs.2 weeksago we started after me  not wanting to get  her all doped up.We started her at the least possible dosage and to our delight her,teacher and therapists have noticed vast improvements.I wish you the the best of luck and may your child get well ,Gabe.My phone 415-279-4516 if youd like to talk.

Hey Jeff,
My 6 year old daughter was tested by her school and independently, and she doesn't fit the classic diagnostic models. She's a loner and awkward, and she's also got motor skills issues.
You're doing the right thing. There's a lot of help out there, with meds or without, and I think the most important thing is for parents to always do right by the kid first. We have friends who have a daughter, same age as mine who has physical and developmental issues, and what ends up happening is that you do what you need to do, and get on with life. Yeah, it's hard, but once you get people you trust on your side, and people who are going through similar things, it'll be easier. One thing that's helped us is that we've found professionals who've had many years of experience, so they've seen lots of cases. I'd suggest that you actively seek these folks out, because you'll get straight talk. Anyway, hang in there. Brian

Two weeks from now I am having an Autism specialist come for six hours to discretely evaluate him and his behavior at his daycare. A price tag of $350 but worth the benefits.

Man, Jeff, I don't envy your situation, especially with the your boy's mother.  That said, you are definitely doing the right thing.  Like most things, early diagnosis is important, and by the sound of things, you are all over it - way to go dad!

The hardest thing is his mother and I share custody of him (50/50, week on, week off) and she thinks Mason has no problems and I am a bad father for trying to have him diagnosed for something she knows he doesn't have. She is very negative and selfish sometimes. That is the big hurdle I have to jump if he is diagnosed.

Way to follow through and not let her persuade you to do otherwise.  Should Mason be diagnosed, I'd try to have mom attend all doctor appointments, especially the appointment where the observation/evaluation results are provided, so she can hear first hand what the professional has to say.  Not to diminish your standing, but it will mean more to mom coming from the doctor than you.  It may help her accept the situation.  I also realize it will be no easy task getting her to attend, but should she decide to not attend any/all doctor appointments, that could be used against her later for custody hearings.    BTW, this is just my $0.02.

Also, when he begins school, make sure you fight for his rights as he should qualify for special services.  If his school can't provide them demand he attends one that can.  I can't lie, not all schools are created equal and some will try to push children like this under the rug.  Just keep fighting for your little boy!

The hardest thing is his mother and I share custody of him (50/50, week on, week off) and she thinks Mason has no problems and I am a bad father for trying to have him diagnosed for something she knows he doesn't have.

Jeff~

It's better to test for something and find out you were wrong than to not test and find out years down the road that something could have been diagnosed much earlier in a childs life.
Knowledge is power. Regardless of the outcome of any test results it will definitely give you the knowledge needed to head in the right direction. You will have the power to make sound rational decisions.
It beats the heck out of willy-nilly guess work.
You may try this approach on your ex. Ask her how she would feel if in 5 or 10 years she found out her child had autism/ADHD and she passed on the opportunity 5 or 10 years earlier to catch it. Then ask how she would feel knowing she let her son live with that for an extra 5 or 10 years without any help or treatment when those years could have been so much easier on him.
It takes a great parent to make hard decisions.
I wish you the best.

WTG Jeff, your doing the right thing.
I am a public school teacher, and like dilbeck says, if diagnosed he has the right to special services and programs called an IEP. (Individualized Educational Program)
I spent Tues. & Wed. sub teaching in an autism pre-school, great bunch of kids
Hang in there buddy!
Tad
 

good buddy has an autistic son, i know he struggled with admitting it at first...PM me if you want me to hook y'all up

Hey Jeff,

I can only relate my neighbor's experience. Their little boy didn't speak much at all until he was 3(?) and was finally diagnosed as autistic. They took advantage of some state programs (probably what Tad was talking about) and the little guy just blossomed (and talks a blue streak). It's been a pleasure to watch. So, it sure seems like you're on the right track.

I have listened to Dr Temple Granden a number of times on NPR. She is autistic herself and is able to give excellent insight into autism. You might consider her book:"Thinking In Pictures: and Other Reports from My Life with Autism"   http://www.amazon.com/Thinking-Pictures-Other-Reports-Autism/dp/0679772898

Ben

Jeff,

I have a 13 yr old daughter who has high functioning autism. We first started seeing that something was different with her at about age 2-3. She wasn't developing her speech and social skills at a "normal" pace. She also would avoid looking you in the eye. (Gaze avoidance) Over the next 9 years or so we kept being sent to specialists, therapists, neurologists ,etc. with no real answers or diagnosis. They all said she "probably had autism or aspergers" but they didn't feel comfortable giving her a diagnosis at a young age. It's fairly common to be diagnosed in the 9-12 yr old range. This is when the difference from a child on the spectrum and a "normal" child seems to accelerate. At age 11 we went to a new neurologist and he gave her the diagnosis of Aspergers. Aspergers is on the Autism spectrum. Unfortunately Aspergers isn't a condition that qualifies for many of the services such as Alta Regional. Since then we've had her diagnosed several more times for acceptance into programs such as the UCD Mind Institute's Social Skills Program. They have all said she fits the profile of Autism and Aspergers and that the medical community don't differentiate between the two any more. That distinction has mad it more difficult getting the services we need sometimes. Keep at it. Be his advocate. There are many resources out there.

It sounds like your son would be in a fairly similar place on the spectrum if he's diagnosed. It may turn out to be something less than what we're dealing with. Most of my daughters problems are with social interaction. She also developed Anxiety. We too resisted putting her on any medication. I'm not aware of any medication that is designed to treat Autism disorders, but sometimes other problems accompany Autism that may need mediation. We did put her on a low dose of an anti anxiety medication and that made a significant difference. She freak out and cry on a regular basis and that is now manageable.

One bit of comfort that I take in all this is that many people with a high functioning Autism Spectrum Disorder often grow up to lead healthy, independent, productive lives. Many become very successful in life. They seem to have a way of compensating and have other skills that often come out and shine.

We currently are going through the Social Skills Program at the UCD Mind Institute. So far it seems like a great program for teaching our children the skills they need and the adults how to best handle our children. They have a program for younger children but I think it starts at age 6.

By the way. You will have to be a constant advocate for you child. Especially at school. Most school staff just isn't trained or equipped to handle children with special needs. An IEP is a powerful tool for getting your child what they need. It's also amazing how many times I've had to talk with school staff and take lectures from them about how to raise my child. So much of the time they are way off base. In the end I've had to do my best to educate them about the differences between an Autistic child and the rest of the kids.

I would be very willing to answer any questions you have or just talk about it. The advice and experience of others in this situation has been very helpful to me. Shoot me a message if you need anything. Maybe I could get a peek at your Tarpon 160 some time.

I honestly didn't expect this much feedback. Thank you for all of your support, it means a lot to me. I started a journal to mark his progress.

Here is my first entry.

So Mason's appointment with Doctor Thompson at Mind Matters this morning at 9:30 am. The doctors office was set up like a home (couches, full kitchen, living room with toys). Dr. Thompson started off trying to talk to Mason about the train he became fully infatuated in the beginning of his appointment. Mason did not acknowledge him or make eye contact once. Then we move to Dr. Thompson's office where he continued  to try to socialize with Mason to no avail. For the remainder of the hour I answered many upon many questions about Masons behavior and socialization skills with other children. Dr. Thompson was very concerned with Mason's independent behavior and lack of socialization with other children, which he should be fully involved with other children, especially with same interests such as trains, trucks and tractors. One other thing that concerned Dr. Thompson was Masons quality of speech and his range of words and the amount of words he is able to put together. He recommended we get Mason into speech testing and speech therapy. And once he is 3 he will be of age to do this through the public school system for little or no cost. Dr. Thompson concluded that Mason has high signs of ADHD and some signs of Autism Spectrum Disorder (his lack of socialization and independency) We set up an appointment in two weeks for one of Dr. Thompson's Learning Specialists to come out and discretely observe and take notes on Mason's behavior. The cost of this observation will be $350, but well worth the money to help Mason. All in all it seems Dr. Thompson is more concerned with Mason's signs of Autism  than the ADHD characteristics he shows. Dr. Thompson and I discussed Mason's school future and is concerned about Miranda's lack of participation in these subjects. He believes Mason is better off in the Calaveras school system because of the support of Mind Matters in Calaveras County. Modesto schools system doesn't have the support groups and workshops for Autistic and ADHD children that Calaveras has. So after Mason's evaluation in two weeks we will know a little bit more in which direction to point Mason in to get the help he needs.

I would be very willing to answer any questions you have or just talk about it. The advice and experience of others in this situation has been very helpful to me. Shoot me a message if you need anything. Maybe I could get a peek at your Tarpon 160 some time.

Mason is starting to develop high signs of frustration/anxiety. If he can't get a piece of his train track to line up, or something to stay where he wants he will bite it and hit it. I will fix it for him and he will purposely break it and throw and get very frustrated once again.

Your welcome to take a gander at my yak and welcome to take it for a spin as well.

Jeff

Your journal will come in very handy in the future. We get asked all the time about when things happened. Milestones etc. It's hard to remember years later.

I'm sure their little minds get frustrated when they aren't able to express what they feel. Mason's behavior seems similar to some things I remember from our daughter. She would get angry and growl at my wife when she would get frustrated. I seem to remember her biting sometimes too.

What area do you live in/fish?

Your journal will come in very handy in the future. We get asked all the time about when things happened. Milestones etc. It's hard to remember years later.

I'm sure their little minds get frustrated when they aren't able to express what they feel. Mason's behavior seems similar to some things I remember from our daughter. She would get angry and growl at my wife when she would get frustrated. I seem to remember her biting sometimes too.

What area do you live in/fish?

Yeah the biting thing is new.

I live in the Sierra's up highway 4. But I fish all over central California. I live very close to New Melones.
The delta is my home in the Spring and Summer