Stand up comedy debut

I would redo that bit from Tote's, but I dont want to be a prop, or a prop-up comic!  Getting excited! Kinda like finding the car keys in Pepper's poop when you thought you lost them!

good luck!!

This post really caught me by surprise, I had no idea you were funny!

Allen

Thanks Allen! (mental note, tell scallen more knock knock jokes at MBK)

My latest favorite:

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I'm schizophrenic,
and so am I.

Or how about this one:

Two Eskimos were out fishing in their kayak when they got really cold and decided to start a fire to warm up. The fire naturally burned through the bottom of their kayak, which immediately sank. This, of course, goes to show that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

<insert groan here>

Seriously tho, break a leg! I teach Mondays or I'd make the drive out.

Good luck! I have total respect for most all comics as well-it takes guts to perform!

my current fav:
Do you know what they call Brazil nuts in Brazil?




nuts

My favorite line:

"funny thing about that little white spec on top of chicken shit, it is still chicken shit."

Three women sitting next to each other on a park bench eating popsicles.
One woman is licking it, one woman is sucking on it and the third woman is biting it.
Which one is married???












The one with the wedding ring!

A guy is out hunting, and stops to take five. He sees this fly hoovering over the water. He also sees a fish, that sees the fly hoovering over the water. The hunter takes it all in, and begins eating a ham and cheese sandwich. A bear strolls by, and sees the fish that is glued to the fly hoovering over the water. The bear, being lazy, decides to wait until the fish surfaces for the fly to make his move. The hunter, being savy in his own right, decides to wait to shoot the bear until he has caught the fish. A mouse, comes by, and sees the hunter watching the bear that is watching the fly that is hoovering over the water. The mouse thinks, hmm, That hunter is going to have to drop the sandwich to shoot that bear, and the ham and chese will be all mine! A cat, comes by and sees the mouse eyeing the hunter's sandwich that will drop when he shoots the bear, and the cat will have a mouse AND a sandwich.
So, the fly touches the water, the trout rises to eat the fly, the bear swats the fish onto shore, the hunter drops his sandwich, the mouse grabs it, and the cat lunges over the mouse and into the stream.

The moral of the story is:






When the fly drops, pussy gets wet!

Good luck! I have total respect for most all comics as well-it takes guts to perform!

my current fav:
Do you know what they call Brazil nuts in Brazil?
nuts

The Rundown!! One of my faves.