Valentine's Day poem

Here is a funny Valentine's Day poem----redneck-style!
Hope ya'll enjoy,
PK



Collards is green,
my dog's name is Blue
and I'm so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk
a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's
and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass,
which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales
but I luv you anyway.

Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
right out of the can.

You have some'a yore teeth,
for which I am proud;
I hold my head high
when we're in a crowd.

On special occasions,
when you shave under yore arms,
well, I'm in hawg heaven,
and awed by yore charms.

Still them fellers at work,
they all want to know,
what I did to deserve
such a purdy, young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape
yo're there fer yore man,
to patch up life's troubles
and fix what you can.

Yo're as cute as a junebug
a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like those far ants
I found in my bed.

Cut from the best cloth
like a plaid flannel shirt,
you spark up my life
more than a fresh load of dirt.

When you hold me real tight
like a padded gunrack,
my life is complete;
Ain't nuttin' I lack.

Yore complexion, it's perfection,
like the best vinyl sidin'.
despite all the years,
yore age, it keeps hidin'.

Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
with a RC cold drank,
we go together
like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate
for Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart,
it's romantic that way.

Some men git roses
on that special day
from the cooler at Kroger.
"That's impressive," I say.

Some men buy fine diamonds
from a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever,"
they explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey,
these won't do.
Cause yor'e too special,
you sweet thang you.

I got you a gift,
without taste nor odor,
more useful than diamonds...
IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!

 

That's too funny! I think my ex wrote the card that I saw on Letterman the other night: "How long till death do us part?" So, in my book, receiving a trolling motor would be more welcome than being traded in for a "newer model"! Thanks for the laugh!

Janice aka "Big J"

PK,

Your kindly sense of humor trolls me through some dark spots on my fish finder with a giggle sometimes.  I better check the water under my transducer "donut" for bubbles.
I didn't know it was possible to laugh and cry at the same time.

Happy Valentines Day Everyone.

  That brot a teer 2 mee iys

Im gonna hafta put that to sum merle haggard git-tar pickin. sweeet.

Hooo Doggie Some uns gittin some whoopee tonite

     That's so Purdy ....

  Think I'll change my ways, settle down, and take the wheels off the House 

Too funny that's a lot better than getting out of the pokey and getting my wife and dog back