An Open Letter to Our Possum

[Surf Hunter]

From actual events that transpired:



I am very happy that you think my BBQ is the best in the neighborhood. I mean, yes, I put a lot of time in my cooking right down to the selection of the meats to be cooked.
Even the wife would rather have a steak I cook then one out at a restaurant.
I am also happy that you insist on removing and cleaning out the drip can from my smoker (albeit with your tongue). And every bit of help cleaning is awesome.
But, could you please stop rummaging on top of my grills at 3am?
The noise of the clanking stainless steel of the grill is really annoying us when we are trying to sleep.
I also noticed that you stole my grill brush last night and even woke up my next door neighbors. That grill brush was a gift from my wife and I would kindly like that returned please.
What was up with that FU look you gave me last night as well? I mean, you woke me up. I know I opened the sliding glass door and shined a flashlight down at the smoker not knowing you were actually on top of my gas grill one foot away from me, but sheesh, did you really need to flop down on the deck and slowly walk by my foot staring at me with such a nasty look like it was an inconvenience to you?
I guess it is time for us to get a new dog now, the cats just are not cutting it, I saw that they were both at the glass door looking at you but never warned me as to your exact location (stupid cats).
In the future, I will be happy to leave you a plate of leftovers as long as you promise not to steal from me anymore and also promise to not let the feral cats enjoy the delectable goodness with you.

Sincerely,
Surf Hunter

[troutnut]

Pellet Gun?

A nice rat trap?

[AlsHobieOutback]

Your awfully kind to that there Possum.   

[FisHunter]

a good cayenne pepper dusting of the area = coons&cats love the stuff

[bwodun]

 :smt044great letter surf hunter, made my morning, cameron

[Surf Hunter]

I don't mind him being there.  Heck, we have a family of skunks and raccoons that visit.
I just don't like getting ripped off, especially by a dang marsupial.

[Sin Coast]

I've heard that raccoons are terrified of mountain lion pee.
Unable to locate a jar of lion pee at my local markets, I decided to conduct a test.
Raccoons are also afraid of human pee. While I wouldn't rate their fear of it as "terrified," they did appear to be slightly concerned. 
Test results were inconclusive, yet ongoing.

[Surf Hunter]

I've heard that raccoons are terrified of mountain lion pee.
Unable to locate a jar of lion pee at my local markets, I decided to conduct a test.
Raccoons are also afraid of human pee. While I wouldn't rate their fear of it as "terrified," they did appear to be slightly concerned. 
Test results were inconclusive, yet ongoing.

So you are saying I should pee on my BBQ?

[Sin Coast]

Try to create a moat around the perimeter.

[Surf Hunter]

Try to create a moat around the perimeter.

that is a lot of pee.  Might have to do a Surf Hunter's House BBQ drink N pee event to fill that.

[Rock Hopper]

Good luck getting that brush back! 

[Surf Hunter]

Well, good news, when I got home low and behold my grill brush was lying on the ground below our back deck.

It was much cleaner than I remember it being, but it is back.

I ended up grilling a few ribeyes last night and not a peep out of Mr. Possum.
Guess we came to terms? 

[Dale L]

Great read, and yeah they got the FU look down I see it in my yard occasionally, 

[HDRich]

Good Story!!

We used to live in an 800sq.ft cabin on the San Lorenzo river. A huge possum moved into the unfinished basement, and nested in the dirt area behind a cinder block foundation wall. We tried everything to coax him out but nothing worked.

Our laundry area was in the finished part of the basement, and the possum took a fancy to eating out of the Tide detergent box. We would tape up the box, move it, and next time we went down to do laundry, more had been consumed.

The last time we saw Mr. Possum alive, most of his fur had fallen out and he looked like s--t.

"Tide takes out your tough stains and your pesky possums". RIP big guy!!

[AlsHobieOutback]

Man, that's one hungry possum!  Poor guy... Get addicted to Tide, and see what happens?!?!?