More fire talk aka brain dump.

HOLY SHIT! First time on NCKA since the fire, just read the entire "FIRE FIRE FIRE" thread. Thanks for your concerns, D. and huge thanks to SuperVato for being the real life hero that he is.

I was in Santa Barbara when the fire started. Got a call from a family friend at 3:30 Monday morning telling me that I needed to get everyone out NOW, there's a massive, very fast moving fire headed my way and they are evacuating my neighborhood, the person on the phone was almost hysterical with fear. My kid was sleeping in the same room and was also awakened and unfortunately heard everything and understood (almost before I did) what was happening. She immediately began to panic and fell apart in fear that her cat was going to burn to death. I tried to reassure her that the cat would flee and almost certainly survive but it did nothing to relieve her suffering. Feeling completely helpless and useless I called SuoerVato and asked for his help. I still can't believe he did it but he left his home and family while the fire raged and drove to my house and videoed the entire contents of my home, found my back up hard drive that contained all the photos of the last ten years or so and took it to safety. After getting off the phone with SuperVato I called the neighbors to warn them about the fire (they did not know yet) and to ask that they keep an eye out for the cat. Thankfully, as they packed to evacuate they saw her outside and were able to lure her into their house and isolate her. It was at this point that it really came rushing in on me... I'm 375 miles away... everything is going to burn... there's NOTHING I can do about it.

Right now, as I write this, I am still truly shocked at how hard that was to deal with. I (rightly or wrongly) see myself as kind of stoic and not very emotional but the inability to have any effect on the outcome was mind boggling. I couldn't think straight, I put my shirt on inside out, I was in a fog as I packed up the hotel room, when I made my family breakfast I literally forgot to eat mine.

Once they were done with breakfast and I discovered that the house hadn't burned yet. I decided that I had to try to get home before it did. I headed back up 101 and after what seemed like the longest drive I'd ever been on we got to San Rafael and I decided to put my family up in a hotel and continue on alone. After i unloaded the car and got them checked in I started for Santa Rosa.

By this time it's early Monday evening and the stories on the radio as I drive north include the horrors of the previous night, how the panic and confusion was so traumatizing and how folks were walking around at the shelters alone and in tears, some missing family members not knowing if they were alive or dead. All of a sudden I realize that I can't leave my family, I was overcome with fear that something will go wrong and we will be separated when they need me most (or maybe it's me who will need them). Luckily by this time the wind in Santa Rosa has died down and the progress of the fire has been significantly slowed. Reports indicate that my house is still OK and I find out that we were actually outside the evac zone by two blocks. A little relieved I decided to return to the hotel to be with my girls and plan and get up every two hours in the hope that if the fire flares up again I'll see an evac warning that gives me time to get there and gather enough important things that recovery might be more doable. And so it goes, every two hours the alarm on my phone wakes me and I go online to check the status of the fire until daylight comes.

By Tuesday morning it seems safe enough that we can go back together and pack what we will need to get by should the worst still happen. We arrive home that morning and find the house is Ok... no power, no water or gas, no damage and most importantly we are all safe and together. The forecast is for the offshore winds to return on Wednesday so we pack up, just in case. The next few days are uncomfortable but nothing in comparison to what some are going through. Before it's over Whizz and his wife are sharing our home for a few days while they are evacuated and the fires spread to Annadale, Napa, Geyserville, Sonoma, etc., but never return to threaten us.

I think I am am still a little bit in shock. I have seen online the images of the devastation and listened to close friends grieve over having lost everything, And yet it is still almost too much to believe. I am surprised that when things are quiet (like now) and I think back on it all, it can get a little overwhelming. I feel jittery, like my brain has been swimming in adrenaline and cortisol for way too long. And then I feel guilty (and a bit like a puss) given what others have been through and are still gong through. But all things considered, most of the time, I just feel very lucky.

I finally unpacked yesterday, well, mostly.

Thanks for listening.

Thanks for sharing this Ruben. I get jittery when I hear stories like this and I was nowhere near the fires.

Reubin
As I read ur story, it reminded me of the scary stuff a lot of us went through. Glad u and ur fam are OK!
Now is the time to help others!
YeaAmos!!!
Scotty


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Mental trauma is just as real as physical trauma. Fight or flight and sometimes both along with all the panic, anxiety and unknown is overwhelming to most.  You did everything right and your mind needs to relax.  Let it out and donÂ’t worry if these feelings come to the surface at random times.  Its normal.  Hang in there and glad your family is okay. 

ThatÂ’s badass Amos.  WTG

Trauma like this can take a while to digest, but you are not alone


Lots of love from us, if you need anything, let us know.

Sorry I cant be of more help with your well concerns, but the county has good resources.  If those are not adequate and you want more, I'll try to dig up some analytical data for you.

Amos is a major stud for taking care of you and your house. What a great friend!

I'm glad you and your fam are OK, Ruben.  What a shocking disaster.

I'm glad you and your fam are OK, Ruben.  What a shocking disaster.

Me, too.  Prayers for your family's peace of mind and for all your friends' recovery as well.

Bushy

Damn.. I can truly empathize with that stress you must have been feeling.  Its just an overwhelming sadness here.  I had to run off to Santa Cruz for the weekend just clear my head.  My family and I are the lucky ones who lost nothing but its brutal being surrounded by so many who lost everything.  I've avoided the disaster areas and so far can't bear to take a drive through SR to get a true understanding of what's lost.  The last beat I worked before I retired 2 years ago was Coffey Park and its hard to fathom that most of it is gone now.  Brutal.   

glad to read that you, your family and the cat are safe. Amos is a good person and from what is read, a real hero for getting into your home to give you some piece of mind.

NCKA Proud Moment!!   Keep it up folks!

Sonoma Strong!