FUNNY STUFF......

It'd be cooler if you just stuck to kayakfishing, kayaks or just plain fishing.  This wasn't even clever or imaginative. 

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Honest but cruel

It'd be cooler if you just stuck to kayakfishing, kayaks or just plain fishing.  This wasn't even clever or imaginative. 

Sent from my DROIDX using Tapatalk 2

Honest but cruel

I believe blunt is a better description. 

"Here you go Mister Blunt"

Four guys have been going on the same fishing trip for many years.
Two days before the group is to leave, Ron's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.

Ron's mates are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.

Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Ron sitting there with a tent set up,
firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire.

"Shit, Ron, how long you been here, and how did you talk your missus into letting you go?"

"Well, I've been here since yesterday.  Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair and my wife
came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, 'Guess who?'"
I pulled her hands off, turned around, and she was wearing a brand new see-through nightie.

She took my hand and pulled me to our bedroom.  The room had candles lit and rose petals all over.
On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes!  She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, and I did.
And then she said, 'Do whatever you want.'
So, here I am."

 How do you recycle a used condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *** out of it.

I'm convinced that there is life in Mars.....

Any koi hobbyist here:   

 

There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large,
  trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it
 down in one swig.
 
  "Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into
   tears.
 
  "Hey, come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can't
  stand to see a man crying."
 
  "This is the worst day of my life," I say.  "I'm a complete failure. I
 was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot,
 I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my
  wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man... and
 then my dog bit me."
 
  "So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all.
 I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison
 dissolve. Then you show up and drink the whole damn thing!  But, Hell, enough
 about me, how are you doing?"

 

There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large,
  trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it
 down in one swig.
 
  "Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into
   tears.
 
  "Hey, come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can't
  stand to see a man crying."
 
  "This is the worst day of my life," I say.  "I'm a complete failure. I
 was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot,
 I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my
  wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man... and
 then my dog bit me."
 
  "So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all.
 I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison
 dissolve. Then you show up and drink the whole damn thing!  But, Hell, enough
 about me, how are you doing?"

How do you recycle a used condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *** out of it.

EEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW

What is the best caliber? I guess it doesn't matter if you use it properly.

Door to Door

Funny Kick-Ass line 

From Discovery Channel / Texas Car Wars

"...your lucky I don't have a glass eye or I'd pop it out, put it in a sock and beat you with it! "   

Reminds me of dirty Harry, "I'll kick your ass so hard your breath will smell like shoe polish!"

The main cameraman from the series Shark Week told this one:

Did you know that a GWS's sex organs are in it's mouth? It's true, you get in there and you're F*cked!