FUNNY STUFF......

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well, St Patrick’s Day is approaching:


An Irishman in Italy -

He offered her a drink and over the course of the night, he charmed her with funny Irish stories and songs.

She’d never had a night like it before and decided to invite him back to her room.

They had a passionate affair all that summer. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant.

Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he gave her a large sum of money and told her to go back to Italy to secretly have the child.

He said that if she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.

She agreed but asked how he would know when the baby was born.

To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a postcard, and write ‘Spaghetti’ on the back.

He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.

‘Honey!,’ she said, ‘you received a very strange post card today.’

‘Oh, just give it to me and I’ll explain it later,’ he said.

The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.

On the card was written:

Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.

One with meatballs, two without.

Send extra sauce.

Well, St Patrick’s Day is approaching:


An Irishman in Italy -

He offered her a drink and over the course of the night, he charmed her with funny Irish stories and songs.

She’d never had a night like it before and decided to invite him back to her room.

They had a passionate affair all that summer. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant.

Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he gave her a large sum of money and told her to go back to Italy to secretly have the child.

He said that if she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.

She agreed but asked how he would know when the baby was born.

To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a postcard, and write ‘Spaghetti’ on the back.

He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.

‘Honey!,’ she said, ‘you received a very strange post card today.’

‘Oh, just give it to me and I’ll explain it later,’ he said.

The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.

On the card was written:

Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.

One with meatballs, two without.

Send extra sauce.

Thank you for making me spit my whiskey and Coke out!!! Holly shit that’s funny right there!!!!

An Irish priest was transferred to Texas:

Father O’Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new west Texas mission parish.

He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside.

He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.

He promptly called the local police station.

The conversation went like this:

“Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?”

“And the best of the day to yerself. This is Father O’Malley at St. Ann’s Catholic Church. There’s a jackass lying dead in me front lawn and would ye be so kind as to send a couple of’yer lads to take care of the matter?”

Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit and recognizing the foreign accent, thought he would have a little fun with the good father, replied,

“Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!”

There was dead silence on the line for a long moment…

Father O’Malley then replied, “Aye, ’tis certainly true, but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin first, which is the reason for me call.”