I figured it out!

NO need to fear the landlord anymore! There is a reason that they attack us, bite the hull, and leave. Put your mind in the frame of mind of an Apex predator, put on Earth by God. What does he, the GW shark, not the big guy, see when he looks up at us? He sees a large seal, but not just a large seal, he sees, a retarded seal. They talk back and forth, "Hank, that one is messed up, probably inbred, and shit." "Look, damn thing can't even swim, splashin on the left, splashin on the right, screw it, let's put him down."
They slam the kayak, bite the hull, and immediately think, F$%kin prosthetic limb! And let go.
The other sharks make fun of him, and then he goes and eats a surfer. That is my opinion.

Dude! Did you bump your fukn head?

worm hole

interesting....never thought of it that way before.

Any seal dumb enough to wear yum-yum yellow deserves to get a little love tap?

I alway visit this sites page to see shark activity before going out. But there ia a section where they list authenticated fatal shark attacks. 1900 to present See this page

http://sharkresearchcommittee.com/fatal_attacks.htm

Then there is a page for all attacks since 2000.

http://sharkresearchcommittee.com/2000.htm

Authenticated unprovoked shark attacks? The fact that they needed to clarify that tells me there are more stupid people than I thought. Now I really want to know how many provoked shark attacks there are each year.

NO need to fear the landlord anymore! There is a reason that they attack us, bite the hull, and leave. Put your mind in the frame of mind of an Apex predator, put on Earth by God. What does he, the GW shark, not the big guy, see when he looks up at us? He sees a large seal, but not just a large seal, he sees, a retarded seal. They talk back and forth, "Hank, that one is messed up, probably inbred, and shit." "Look, damn thing can't even swim, splashin on the left, splashin on the right, screw it, let's put him down."
They slam the kayak, bite the hull, and immediately think, F$%kin prosthetic limb! And let go.
The other sharks make fun of him, and then he goes and eats a surfer. That is my opinion.

That is exactly what happens

So what defines a provoked attack exactly?  Is that where the person taunts the shark say with bloody chum, and gets outside of the shark cage so they "can swim" with Bruce? 

I have a very simple theory on life: "Never step down the food chain...Unless properly armed."  Granted, DFG won't let me take a sawed off 12 ga loaded with buck or slug for Bruce protection. Then there are those who feel the need to swim with Bruce, walk through the lions den, wrestle aligators (ever notice not to many people wrestle croc's, far more aggressive), play with Grizzlies.  I mean who do these idiots think they are fooling.  That dumb ass German had it coming when the grizzlie got him, I mean a beast is a beast is a beast, some just don't want to be domesticated.

I mean a beast is a beast is a beast, some just don't want to be domesticated.

That sentence explains my whole life!

so how do we make ourselves look less retarded and more bad assed? 

Authenticated unprovoked shark attacks? The fact that they needed to clarify that tells me there are more stupid people than I thought. Now I really want to know how many provoked shark attacks there are each year.

I guess by being in the food chain is called provoking. Or is it every time one goes by I take my little base ball bat out and knock the shit out of him. He then finds a surfer to take it out on. Or is it my shark shield that sends him after someone else. 

Provoked shark attack: the dipshit that got his face all jacked up when he tried to "kiss" the nurse shark.

"Hank, that one is messed up, probably inbred, and shit." "Look, damn thing can't even swim, splashin on the left, splashin on the right, screw it, let's put him down."

  Hell Yeah

NO need to fear the landlord anymore! .....
They slam the kayak, bite the hull, and immediately think, F$%kin prosthetic limb! And let go.

That is exactly what happens

That's exactly what i've been thinking too.  I guess the question is: How many more sharks out there need to do some chomping on plastic till they 'learn' we aren't edible