Kayak Crabbing with a 3 y/o

MW, I read every single word in this thread I especially paid attention to you and your daughters experience level and comfort in the ocean.

Sounds like you have all the bases covered except the one you didn't expect, regardless when it crops up you don't want to have a 3 yo onboard.

Your words on the thread so far show experience and maturity, but perhaps a little over confidence.

She's only 3, give it a few years.

Maybe a little more blunt than other feedback, but she's gonna be with you for allot of years, it's OK to slow down.

Ultimately you know your daughter better than anyone else.  If she is not going to panic when your kayak capsizes in the ocean, that might be a sign she is getting ready for the open ocean.
I consider myself experienced, but my wife and I capsized recently when there was no swell and no wind, just 10 feet away from a kayak pier when I tried to make a sharp turn.

One suggestion I have is to consider taking her on a tandem kayak with a dedicated person to keep an eye on her.  I know I am far away, but you are welcome to borrow my tandem kayak to give it a try.
Definitely not Bolinas, Muir, and Stinson.  You want to launch and land from a protected area.

Paul

A kid 3 yr. old is too young to take out crabbing. They don't understand or appreciate what is going on.

Don’t take it personal MW… the folks here are rule followers and way into safety, so they’ll tell you when they think you should reconsider. Just know they’re looking out for everyone and looking to avoid any stories of anyone getting sideways from a kayak.

I get what you want to do as the first fish on kayaks for my boys were pretty cool events. Eddie’s right about Doran being your best chance for success. But, there won’t be boogie boarding at the beach if you’re hoping for a two-sport day.

I’d also look for a second person to hook up with to go out with as there is safety built into numbers. I live on the east coast of CA, so I don’t get over there very much, but I’d tag along if I was there on a day you posted for a hookup.

Doran on a calm day launching near the jetty. I would bring no more than 2 hoops with 20 minute soaks to keep it simple and go out maybe 100 yards or so - past the end of the jetty but quite a ways from the entrance, where boat wakes and current could be an issue. You may or may not get legal dungies, but you should at least get rock crabs to keep things interesting.

Sent you a PM

Sounds like you aren't too interested in hearing what folks have to say, but I would just ask where the little one is going to sit. I have a 15' paddle kayak and it's pretty full on a crab trip, both heading out with gear and then pulling rings/traps and sorting out lots of angry pinching animals.

Bodega Doran, drops ur pots pick up kiddo on the beach… wouldn’t suggest going past the jetties or crossing the channel between both jetties… lots of boats going in and out… check wind conditions and swell.. doran is pretty protected. If u just want to catch crab and reds don’t matter .. chicken by the jetty always works… stay safe. Plenty of people there coast guard is near by. Have a radio and whistle just in case…

WHY.   She really doesn’t want to be on a kayak.   Let her play on the beach and be a kid and be safe.   Better for her and better for you.

She only wants to be on the front of a surfboard and not a yak?  Hmmm...I wish I got my kids started early and it was more for selfish reasons than tag along reasons...no one knows the good any 3yr. old will glean from such connection to the sea and the father but the 3 year old.  Such bonds are essential and mysterious and necessary in this 21st century "I", "me", identity starved culture.

I feel a song coming on a whole season early.  Hey guys, remember the winter dialogues of 2023?   

Ok. I've got six of those 25 lb. heavy duty ambush traps rigged on the back of the boat. We paddle out from Ocean Beach at first light on opening day. I'm not sure where we'll set, but I'd like her to have the experience of seeing the Farallones come up out of a thick autumn fog, so that's the goal. Ambitious, I know, but I've duct taped an EPIRB to the tiniest survival suit I could find and taught her to scream loudly into channel 16. So there's a plan.

Kidding.

Despite suggestion to the contrary, I am interested in these responses. I respect the concern and I hope those of you who have voiced it can hear that I take my daughter's safety very seriously.

I am also hearing from some others, and a few in my private messages, exactly the kind of recommendations I was hoping for, which have been extremely helpful to me. Thanks to those of you who offered these ideas.

If conditions are good, I'll take her out of school and we'll plan to paddle 1-200 ft out from Doran and set 2 light duty hoopers. We'll paddle around for 20-30 minutes, drink some hot chocolate, and go pull the traps. If conditions are not in our favor, or if she gets spooked, we'll eat crab sandwiches on the beach. I also have another semi-secret spot in mind that's even more protected so we've got a few good options.

A few things I did find frustrating in the responses here:

The assumption of reckless ignorance. It makes sense to ask about my level of experience and check that I'm thinking rationally about this, but it seems like some of you jumped quickly to the (I think) wrong conclusion that I have no idea what I'm getting into and have no ability to responsibly consider what my daughter needs, feels, or is capable of. That felt ungenerous to me.

More importantly: I think some of you have a low opinion of what a young child is capable of doing, communicating, and experiencing. All kids are different but I have found that if I take my daughter seriously, give her opportunities to try complicated things and (crucially) maintain her sense of safe, supportive, boundaries, she can do amazing things. She can also tell me what she needs and whether she likes something, or finds it scary.

My daughter was born in a Manhattan hospital in the first days of Covid. We fled NYC and lived the whole first year of her life in a cabin in the white mountains of northern new hampshire. I fly fished the river every day that summer, often with her in a sling on my chest. When I caught a trout, I'd hold it out for her to touch and we'd release it together, so she could feel it slip out of her pudgy little fingers back into the water. She got splashed by a lot of squaretails that summer.

In the winter, the river froze over and we dragged her behind our skis in a little sled. She was constantly shaking her mittens off and dragging those pudgy fingers in the snow.

Anyway (I could go on forever about this), the important thing is that in spring, when the river thaws there's an early hatch of red quill mayflies. They gather over the riffles and the females bob up and down in little translucent clouds waiting for a male to tackle and fertilize them midflight. If you don't know to look for this, it can be hard to see (until they fill the air above the water, which happens) but it's the first bit of magic in the new trout season.

In that first spring of 2021, when she was not quite a year old, she could see it. I held her in the chest sling and pointed, and she bobbed her little head up and down in time with the bugs' mating dance.

I don't think she has to understand that to be impacted by it. But I like that she can see it.

Good for you.
Sometimes I think some of us forget what it was like to be fathers of young children and wanted them to explore the world, rather than worry and shield them from every danger. 

You know your child better than any of us here.  Manage the risks and prepare of ever hanging conditions, you and child should be fine. 

If you need partners in crime, then I’ll join you with my 6 and 2yr olds.

Boom!  Thanks for the intro and I hope to see ya’ on da wattah! Geetum brah!! 

Hi MW,

I started crabbing with my son at Doran beach jetty on a big tandem oasis pedal drive with outriggers when he was 4 and it has been great.  He is 8 now and wants to be a marine biologist when he grows up.  We usual pedal out, drop lightweight rings, go back in and play on the beach for an 1/2-1 hour then check rings.  Its great fun and kids love to play with the crabs!  Lots of great memories out there.  3 might be a little young to really get into it, but every kid is different and you know your daughters attention span best.  We usually pass the time debating who would win in a theoretical fight between different ocean animals.

The most important thing is weather.  Don't go if its windy or swells are up, not worth it and it wouldn't be fun anyway.  We both always wear full wet suits and PDFs, I carry a radio and were both good swimmers.  The outriggers help with kayak stability and I would recommend them crabbing with kids.  Just start slow, be cautious, and build from there.  As others have stated the ocean can be very unforgiving and you have to respect it, even at Doran.

If you want to meet up DM me on instagram @yakcrabber.  We do more power boat crabbing early in the season than kayak crabbing anymore, but we still get out on kayak to doran beach or tomales a few times every season once the crabs move closer to shore.

The tough love comes off as harsh, but you wouldn't believe the things we have seen first hand happen on this board.  Even the fully prepared happen to have accidents, people do stupid things, the unexpected can and does happen very often.  Sounds like you have your and her safety in mind, and your prepared for the worst.