Glourious Little Basterds

Another Tomales Mission on Sunday.
Top priority: Capture King 'Butt.

Got there at 6:15, on the water before the sun came up. Paddled out and began recruiting. After a few minutes, I had put together a ragtag team of eager, well-intentioned misfits - a few mackerel, a little too big for ideal bait, and a couple of nice sardines. My troops were eager to seek out their arch nemesis, King 'Butt, aka "The Assman."

One of the 'dines volunteered to go into battle, so I sent him to the front line to search for King Butt. Within minutes, he had located something. The rod tip went wild, then ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

I picked up the rod, clicked into gear, and nothing...pulled my little soldier up. He was very unhappy, so I swapped him out for the other sardine, who at this time wasn't exactly volunteering after seeing what had happened to his comrade.

I sent him down anyway, and a few minutes later my clicker sang its song. I clicked into gear and fish on! It felt big, and made a few runs. I felt head shakes, so I knew it wasn't a ray - The Assman? Maybe. I had the gaff ready, and finally brought him into view. Dammit! A leopard shark. A nice size, too, but not a flatty. Those leopard sharks are quite charming. Something about them reminds me of a yellow lab - I can't pinpoint it though.

I brought him into my lap, unhooked him gently and sent him on his way, reminding him not to let me catch him in these parts again. I think he got the point - of my treble, that is.

At this point I had a handful of fat little mini-tuna, and the one poor bastard sardine with the gash on his side. He begged and pleaded not to go back into combat, but I explained that he was our only shot at capturing our arch-nemesis. He didn't have time to respond as I pinned him through the nose and the back and dropped him down.

A few minutes and ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...I picked up and clicked into gear. I had a fish on for a few seconds and then it went slack. I reeled in and my soldier bobbed up in front of me, lifeless - he'd been bitten in half below the waist.

That was it. Jigged up a few more mackerel. I explained to them that since they had failed the mission, I would take them home and eat them instead. This hadn't been part of the deal, but life sucks when you're bait.

I'll get The Assman next time...

One pic of the Basterds, to be posted later.

another great read M2, i think the next batch of drafties will definately find the assman for you, cameron

Once again, from all of us civilians, thanks to you General M2 and all of your selfless brave troops. I'm sure there will be some medals awarded, possibly the revered "fish knife n fork". your efforts to keep us safe from the dreaded Assman are appreciated.

Oh, and I met BillS out there. Bill, I hope you did better than I did. I found a ton of jacksmelt on the way in and jigged up a few for lingcod bait. I could jig up macks and smelt all day!

How were the mackerel? I take back what I said about them being as good as halibut - they're not. But they are quite tasty.

Thanks for the report and some great laughs Andrew. Last time I was there, it
took us a while to find bait before chasing Mr. Butt.

Jedmo

remind me not to join your army

you'll get em next time

Better luck tracking down your big butt. the ass man will come full circle. It just depends on the moon. great report. thanx

Awesome report andrew! Nice job chasing the Nazi.... I mean Flat kind of fishes. Sounds like you had some good action anyways!


-Eliot

Thank you for the delightful report Andrew.  Looking forward to see the picture of the Basterds 

Thanks for the report.

Please note that you are talking to your BAIT and you believe they are talking back to you.  I'm no expert, but you may wish to seek professional help.

John

read like a Band Of Brothers episode. Awesome report.