Burying the hatchet

The story on how my father and I buried a long term hatchet. 
Warning, long read and probably waaaaaay too much personal info, but I like the story.

http://www.stripersonline.com/surftalk/showthread.php?t=511189&highlight=%22space+shuttle%22

Surfhunter,

That was a wonderful story, thanks for sharing that with us.

Rich

So that was 2.5 years ago.  I'm assuming he came to the wedding?...

You really got me with this one, Tom.  My Dad died 17 months ago.  He and my Mom split when I was pretty young.  I lived with my Dad from 4th grade through the end of high school.  When I turned 18 and graduated I wanted the hell out of his house, so I went to school and he and I had a shaky relationship - it was largely due to my need for independence and how that clashed with his need to keep me from hurting myself or learning lessons the hardest way.  I always knew he loved me and wanted the best for me.  I was lucky - we reconciled and became very close within the last 15 years.  When he fell ill with cancer I was right there with my stepmother the nurse, caring for him until he passed.  The communication we had while he was still alive is something I appreciate so much and will never forget.  I believe my children represent my legacy - my soul can travel forward with them after I'm gone.  I think my Dad felt the same - he should, because his travels forward with me.  The special relationships we have in life are really what matter.

You did the right thing by persisting in your desire to reconcile with your Dad.  Thank you for sharing your story.  I appreciate any reminder to allow Love to flow in my life.   

Yes, yes he did come to the wedding, it was wonderful.  What was really shocking was him and my mom sitting at a table talking for a good two hours with out resorting to yelling or fighting.  All good.  I talk to him usually monthly, does not seem like a lot, but for us, it is just fine. 
One thing neat, when I originally posted this story, I received several PM's from people I never even knew saying thanks, that it inspired them to bury a hatchet with family members. 

So that was 2.5 years ago.  I'm assuming he came to the wedding?...

You really got me with this one, Tom.  My Dad died 17 months ago.  He and my Mom split when I was pretty young.  I lived with my Dad from 4th grade through the end of high school.  When I turned 18 and graduated I wanted the hell out of his house, so I went to school and he and I had a shaky relationship - it was largely due to my need for independence and how that clashed with his need to keep me from hurting myself or learning lessons the hardest way.  I always knew he loved me and wanted the best for me.  I was lucky - we reconciled and became very close within the last 15 years.  When he fell ill with cancer I was right there with my stepmother the nurse, caring for him until he passed.  The communication we had while he was still alive is something I appreciate so much and will never forget.  I believe my children represent my legacy - my soul can travel forward with them after I'm gone.  I think my Dad felt the same - he should, because his travels forward with me.  The special relationships we have in life are really what matter.

You did the right thing by persisting in your desire to reconcile with your Dad.  Thank you for sharing your story.  I appreciate any reminder to allow Love to flow in my life.   

when I originally posted this story, I received several PM's from people I never even knew saying thanks, that it inspired them to bury a hatchet with family members. 

That's good stuff.  Doing the right thing in life often involves making a decision to be positive in the face of shittyness.  Creating good will is the path to wisdom and happiness.  It's a worthwhile pursuit.   

It really is awesome that a personal story like both yours and Abking's can help others reconcile.

I have a Quality Manager that was totally estranged from his Mom, and had been for more than 10 years.

Two years ago when my Mom died, I was at her side and held her as she passed. My brothers and sister were also there, as were many of mom's grandkids. The sadness; of course, but the honor to be with her in my arms was an incredible, humbling, powerful experience. The love I've always had for her was stronger then than I could ever imagine.

I told this story to Allan, my QA manager, I told him to not let her go.

He has lunch with her every week now, and they are shopping buddies....

Before they reconciled, she had become morbidly obese and virtually a shut in. After they got back to where they should be, she had a lap band procedure done, dropped a tom of weight, quit smoking, and now he's as fit as he can ever remember her to be!!

Rich

Surf Hunter, thanks.  Positive and uplifting is always welcome these days!

That's good stuff.  Doing the right thing in life often involves making a decision to be positive in the face of shittyness.  Creating good will is the path to wisdom and happiness.  It's a worthwhile pursuit.   

Positive in the face of shittyness.  I like that.  I try with varying levels of success to teach my kids that all competition is internal.  Your personal best is still your best whether you are first or last.  A weak performance that happens to land you in first place is still weak.  Similarly, it is easy to be happy when things are going well.  It takes real effort in the face of shittyness.

Wow, not such a long read and well worth it.

Great story & awesome commemorative plug.

Glad you shared that.