Topic: FUNNY STUFF...... (Read 1715410 times)

February 13, 2011, 05:24:19 PM #585

Why Athletes Can't Have Real Jobs

Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan' all
dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to
copulate me."

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New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:
"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

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And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd run over my own
mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win,
I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."

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Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins:
"He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."

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Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996: "Nobody in
football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman
Einstein."

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Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh : "I'm going to
graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." (now that is beautiful)

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Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up
alphabetically by height." And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, then
line up in a circle."

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Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don
King: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison
for three years, not Princeton."

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Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color
photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell
my name, I can still find my clothes."

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Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of
heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the
morning regardless of what time it is."

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Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach
Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a
baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." (I wonder
if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)

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Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, 'Son,
what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't
know and I don't care.'"

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Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a
player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're
spending too much time on one subject."

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Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas
why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded: "Because
she is too ugly to kiss good-by."

February 15, 2011, 07:02:47 PM #586

February 15, 2011, 09:44:43 PM #587

is that all you have to do to get a free hobie!!!

February 15, 2011, 10:19:08 PM #588

Was that a real conversation that you had with your old lady?

what cant you do you damned leepin

February 15, 2011, 10:21:04 PM #589

Outstanding Patrick!

February 16, 2011, 07:19:58 AM #590

Juan I hope this isnt how you call em in!

February 20, 2011, 09:35:52 PM #591

Random funny video, hope it's in the right place lol

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