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2017 AOTY/DOTY Entry

Topic: 680 closure yesterday  (Read 1145 times)

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Chadrock

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 Doesn't change anything.

My Mom committed suicide during the holidays a couple years ago and it sure changed a lot of things.

Some fools just need to brope up. :smt001
“When I'm in a slump, I comfort myself by saying if I believe in dinosaurs, then somewhere, they must be believing in me. And if they believe in me, then I can believe in me. Then I bust out. ”             -Mookie Wilson

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EWB

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Jesus...just jump and get it over with.

Nice. That's nice.  Empathy is so overrated.

I have more "empathy" for the thousands of other people that were affected by one dope fiend's stupid actions.

And before anyone gets all high and mighty, I have close friends that have turned into dope fiends and have had two close friends commit suicide. Doesn't change anything.
Every wonder what it would be like to have those two friends back in your life? Yeah she may have been high, a gang banger or whatever but lots of vets, first responders and others suffer the same fate.
-Eric Berg


MontanaN8V

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Matt, any relation? Sissy breaking bad?
Live your life, the way you want to be remembered. Don't have any regrets, we only get this one dance to make it count. Start at your eulogy, and work backwards.


Mr.Matt

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I have an Aunt Sandy from South San Francisco same name.... Creepy.
Rich does she look like me? Jackass.......

Nah don't know her. Poor gal. Hope she finds Jesus or something and gets some help.
Holiday season is hard as fuck on a lotta people. We are already seeing it at work and the calls are getting uglier ad sadder.
For those of you out there dealing with depression over the holidays there is always hope. Reach out and make a call, ask for help.
Or simply ask a buddy to go fishing.
Best of luck to all this holiday season.
Matt


Rock Hopper

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 Doesn't change anything.

My Mom committed suicide during the holidays a couple years ago and it sure changed a lot of things.

Some fools just need to brope up. :smt001

Sorry, I meant my friends' suicides don't change how I personally feel about this particular incident.
A Nor Cal Kayak Assassin. Yeah, "Welcome to the Madness" - Now brandish a weapon or get dropped to the canvas.






In Loving Memory of Joel Lotilla



Rock Hopper

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Every wonder what it would be like to have those two friends back in your life? Yeah she may have been high, a gang banger or whatever but lots of vets, first responders and others suffer the same fate.

Sure. I also wonder what it'd be like to have my 3 friends that were murdered back in my life...and I'm an Army Brat so sometimes I wonder about the dozens of friends I've beem separated from due to that.

However, none of that has anything to do with how I personally feel about this particular situation.
A Nor Cal Kayak Assassin. Yeah, "Welcome to the Madness" - Now brandish a weapon or get dropped to the canvas.






In Loving Memory of Joel Lotilla



Eric B

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Driving home from Cupertino to Fremont around 7:45, drove a mile or two then bam, stopped for over an hour.  Took two hours to get home.  And I was lucky to catch the end of it, apparently.

It was pretty weird being stopped.  People getting out of their cars, other jackasses driving on the shoulder, cops on bullhorns telling us to stay in our cars...  had no idea what was up or if I was gonna get home at all.

I feel for the mentally unstable but you don't have to be an ass about it.  Why inconvenience thousands for your own issues?


Danglin

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If they don't just do it, usually means it is a cry for help. Those that really mean it, just do it... She will get the help she needs now. Someones Daughter? Someones wife? One of us? Suicide is sad and usually over something fixable.... Hang in there this Christmas season folks. Remember, all the gifts, presents, stuff, doesn't matter. Serve others and find joy in giving of time and love. Losing yourself and helping others can put love and perspective in your life. Merry Christmas everyone. Give someone a hug :smt007

Strong work there Weimarin   :smt001

 Suicide…  Ug,,,  such a dark cloud for many of us who lost so many, and sometimes, maybe even thought about it ourselves while looking at the line at the DMV…   :smt011

   Ultimately, it is the most selfish act one can do,  a permeant solution to a temporary problem leaving those in the wake of that act wondering WTF?

I've been part of many calls where the deed was done or half ass done, but the worse ever was 2 young vets…

One shot his wife and her friend with them lying on the front lawn with the young vet on his knees beside them with a 45 to his head. I mistakenly came upon the scene while trying to get to staging only to be right on top of the scene, closer than the cops with guns drawn as the young vet was on his knees with a 45 to the head…  I was in shock… I got out of the ambulance and looked at him… he pointed the gun at me, only for a moment, but I'll never forget those eyes,,, somehow, I just felt he was not going to shoot and turned my back to him going to the ambulance to get some things ready, kind of just blowing him off, like "go ahead and shoot MF…"  and he did, right to his head.. we then worked a fresh head shot as he had respirations and a pulse, not so lucky for his wife and her friend, He died too, but not after filling our ambulance with blood to where the floor boards bled for the rest of the 2 day shift…

the next one, only a month later… while driving home from Sac after work, I'm between Cordelia and Vallejo in the hilly part and a small accident erupts in front of me, closing off traffic in all lanes.. I get out of my truck and start checking on everyone and everything looks all good as it is only minor damage to all cars. I get to this one sedan and a man about 30ish is inside just looking down at the floor boards of his car.  I ask him if he is OK,  he then gets out of the car with a razor blade and starts yelling at me and everyone else …  I ask him to clam down and everything is OK, he then gets really angry with me and takes a few half ass swings with the blade at me and then states…  " I'm a fucking 2 time deployed Afghanistan vet, I've lost my wife and my job!!!,  Fuck all of you…"  He then takes the razor and slits his neck, deep from ear to ear.. and walks back to his car and sits in the drivers seat, bleeding like a stuck pig…

I started to try and control the bleeding by stuffing towels into the wound that where in his car to which it looked he had been living there for a while. The few minutes that it took for help to get there and somehow a med chopper arrived with them, seemed to take forever…  The Medex female medic comes to other side of me and I give her the ring down and she starts to take a blood pressure…?  WTF, " I told you he has radial pulses, get a KED as we need to keep him upright…"  she starts to argue with me about a backboard and I tell her to land the chopper as she does not know WTF she's doing… 

It was at that point that Vacaville Fire pulls me from the scene saying I'm injured and let them handle it… Huh?. sure enough, somehow my elbow was cut open and pretty deep, I did not know. It was then I caught myself and realized it was not my scene and this guy was probably going to die anyway.  While they were taking care of my arm, I watched them put the vet on a backboard, yelling that he coded and they started CPR…

In the US, the best info I could find from 2003 is 86.3 suicides happen a day. I'm sure we have all heard, and its a fact that 22 Veterans off themselves everyday…

Those horrific scenes I just described, and more, happen everyday …

I'm don't know the answer and sure wish I did as losing 8 fellow Sacramento Fire Fighters to suicide in my career also fucks with me…  WTF!!!???  I've also lost many to the " Metal Years " in my two decades of playing in metal bands, but that kind of makes sense due to the drugs and hapless life style to which I should not be here today.  Guess I have a team of guardian angles...

I know that the only thing that gives me some peace is to help others and work on myself, and not always in that order, which can also be overwhelming as running HOW,  what we dig up out of these events is pretty overwhelming at times to myself in Vets opening up and family calling and e-mailing about their troubled loved ones and they don't know what to do…

 neither do I…  What I am doing is still going forward and working on building a professional network that we can refer people too …

Awareness is higher than ever so hopefully something comes out of that awareness that can have a lasting effect on those suffering…  but we have a long way to go…

Thanks for the …  whatever this is I just wrote as I'm still trying to figure it out myself…  guess this struck a nerve...
« Last Edit: December 10, 2014, 12:23:12 PM by Danglin »
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Love Baja…  :smt055


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God bless you, Don.  For all you've done and all do.  I couldn't finish reading about it, let alone live it as you did and do every day.


Danglin

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I should probably keep that stuff to myself and sorry for the graphics….

  Bless and thank you all for what y'all do to Make HOW happen…

could not do this without all of you….
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Love Baja…  :smt055


Derrick A2H

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Jesus...just jump and get it over with.

Im with you there. My mom was all suicidal and it got to the point for me i began to wish it would happen. At first suicide was an emotional roller coaster for me in high school. Now id just tell em to do it an not drag their family around with it.
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