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2017 AOTY/DOTY Entry

Topic: classic Joke  (Read 1445 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Kevin

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An oldie but goodie...

****
A young guy from Ohio moves to Florida and goes to a big
"everything under one roof" department store looking for a job.
The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The
kid says "Yeah. I was a salesman back in Ohio "

Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. "You
start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."

His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it.
After the store was locked up, the boss came down.

"How many customers bought something from you today?

The kid says "one".

The boss says "Just one? Our sales people average 20 to
30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?"

The kid says "$101,237.65".

The boss says "$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell?"

The kid says, "First, I sold him a small fish hook. Then I
sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger
fishhook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked
him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast,
so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down
to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris
Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would
pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department
and sold him that 4x4 Expedition."

The boss said "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and
you sold him a BOAT and a TRUCK?"

The kid said "No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for
his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go
fishing........."


SBD

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haha....this joke will make you laugh, but also cost you a LOT of WAF!


There is a guy in Alaska that loves to go crabbing every weekend.  His wife is worried about the danger, and she misses him.  She always asks to go, but he always says there's not enough room on the deck with all of the gear.

One weekend he finally relents and his wife goes out crabbing.  They get to his spot and they start setting gear.  As they set the second pot she becomes entangled in the lines and she is pulled overboard and drug underwater.  The man jumps in after her. No luck.  He pulls in the gear and she is gone.  He gets on the radio for help, and after a while CG arrives.  He searches until the CG sends her home.

The CG and the Alska State troopers search for days.  The man is a wreck as he waits for news.  finally there is a knock at the door.

A tropper stands in the doorway.

Sir we have bad news, good news, and GREAT news...how would you like it?

Give me the bad news.

Our worst fears were confirmed, we recovered your wifes body early this morning.

What the hell could be the good news?

She was covered with a REAL nice limit of king crab?

Then what on god's earth could be the GREAT news?

Were bringing her back up again tomorrow!

 


mooch

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That's FUNNY Sean  :smt003...but pretty sick at the same time  :smt078


mooch

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Kayak fishing fool.......

There's a fellow who is an avid kayak fisherman. Actually, he's a
kayak fishing fool. Every
Saturday morning he has an early kayak fishing trip scheduled. He gets up early and eager,
and
kayak fishes all day long, even late into the evening sometimes. Well, this
one
Saturday morning,
he gets up early, dresses quietly, gets all his kayak fishing gear, and
goes

out to his truck - with his kayak already strapped in and is ready to drive to the beach.

Coming out of his garage rain is pouring down; it is like a torrential
downpour.
There is also snow mixed in with the rain, and the wind is blowing
50mph. He

returns to the garage. He comes back into the house and turns the TV to
the
weather channel. He finds it's going to be bad weather all day long, so
he
puts
his kayak fishing gear into the garage, quietly undresses and slips back into
bed.
There
he cuddles up to his wife's back, now with a different kind of
anticipation
than
kayak fishing, and whispers, "The weather out there is terrible."

To which she sleepily replies, "Can you believe my stupid husband is
out fishing on his stupid kayak
 :smt118


Seabreeze

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You guys are good.......er..........bad............uh.......whatever............ :smt043

Here is a contribution lifted from another list's jokes page.....

Three old men are sittin' in their kayaks fishing a cove on a quiet Sunday morning when a funeral procession drives by. One of the old men takes off his hat & puts it over his heart. The procession winds its way around the cove and disappears over a hill. The old man puts his hat back on and continues fishing. One of the other old timers says "Geeze Ed, that was a thoughtful thing to do." Ed replies "It was the least I could do after 49 years of marriage."

Unknown Author

Saltwater is the cure for everything that ails us,
sweat, tear or the sea.


 

anything